Granny pants or wispy thong?

First let me say I think the term 'granny pants' gives a wrong impression, but anyway there was a small article in the Sunday Times by India Knight which I spotted and tested on my husband.

The gist of it was that granny pants have overtaken skimpy pants sales for the first time in years according to the fashion retail industry. India Knight opined that it was in her opinion quite right and that she found full fitting quality lingerie, as worn by Hollywood divas of yesteryear, Sophia Loren, Gina Lollobrigida etc, far sexier than say a skimpy thong worn by Cameron Diaz. Now India is a woman so her views might no be echoed by men and, of course, age would also come into it. But facts are facts and apparently it has happened.

I asked my husband a straightforward question - Sophia Loren in well fitted high waisted lingerie in room 1, or Cameron Diaz in a skimpy thong in room 2, which door would you open? His answer was immediate...room 1.

Then I told him what I'd read and he told me thongs didn't really do it for him at all, the only advantage they had was if you had to spank a woman in one you didn't need to waste time taking it off. So now I know why he's never been particularly bothered when I've worn a thong (haven't for ages), he doesn't find them sexy at all. I'm sure that is not the case with all men:)

What about your partner - thongs or full fitting knickers?

Ronnie
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My Kind of Reading

In last Sunday's Times, by which I mean references to my passion for TTWD. I read other stuff too, selectively, but I'm always drawn to references to spanking, bums, SandM, you know the sort of stuff, I have a nose for it even if it's not clear from the headline what it contains. I'll give you a few examples of what I spotted....

"Under the swish of Grey's cane is comfort reading posing as porn" - by Minette Marin - 
Her article was a bit high brow to be honest, going on about feminism and quality (or lack of) and concluding that the book isn't porn at all except for a few mild bondage references and a caning towards the very end. Well I can't agree or disagree with Minette's detailed dissection of the book because I haven't read it (naughty aren't I) but I would certainly not regard mild bondage or caning as pornographic so I suppose at the end of the day I do agree with her conclusion. 

The Travelodge hotel chain claims that of the 21,800 books left in its rooms last year, 7,000 were Shades of Grey.

"Grey Matters" - 
British screenwriter, Kelly Marcel, is charged with the task of turning Fifty Shades of Grey into a movie. 

She states "It isn't going to be Twilight." Well I suppose that's a given. She (Kelly) has no BDSM research planned , but says she likes to immerse herself in the world she writes about so will be definitely looking into it. She was asked about her own sexual preferences and replied "She's never been averse to a bit of spanking (yay good for her). Had sex with British and American men and couldn't say there was a difference
but sex with a Frenchman - was amazing. Well perhaps E.L. should have made her star a Frenchman:)

"The author Wilbur Smith"- This Lion Sleeps Tonight, an interview by Camilla Long - 
This was a full page job, well written as always by Long and, unusually, she seemed to like her subject. The bit that amused me was how Smith first met his very attractive wife, 39 years his junior, He was, he said, attracted by her lovely cute little bottom which he followed into a W.H. Smith store and then asked its owner if she'd like a coffee. Needless to say its owner accepted.

"The World's Fastest Interview" - Davina McCall -
I don't particularly like Davina or the shows she's been associated with but her 'interview' - which is a quirky quick-answer thing which the Times runs with a different celeb each week - revealed that Davina has a ‘taste for mild bondage and it’s a great way to spice up a 12 year old marriage’.

I always make sure I've absorbed a few significant news items too, and maybe some snippets from Culture or food ideas from Style, so that I can share with my husband but the little raunchy references always give me a pleasant buzz.

Ronnie
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Pictures from Sunday Times

Chained to an Aga and Don Draper

I was reading an article, a snippet really, in an old copy of Style, written by Camilla Long, one of the Sunday Times emerging stars (in my opinion anyway). It was about ladies' underwear as marketed by Victoria's Secret and in particular one of their models who made some comment about all you need to get your man is sexy underwear. Clearly Long, with her obvious intellect, suspected that some girls - and men - might like to think there could be more to it than that.

In an obvious put down for the model who'd made the comment, Long said she could imagine her 'chaining herself to the Aga, dressed only in expensive knickers and suspenders, Stepford Wives style, waiting for an imaginary Don Draper to come down off a whisky high and do the necessary' or words to that effect. Now, I don't want to take a side in this really I don't, and I certainly don't regard myself a Stepford Wives type, but the thought of being chained up to the Aga in classy knickers and stockings 

waiting for Mr Draper to, ahem, attend to me did have a certain appeal. 

Only trouble is we don't have an Aga.

Back home later.

Ronnie
xx

Russian girls celebrating

Courtesy of the Sunday Times and my husband, a lovely picture of two Russian beach volleyball girls. My husband spotted it in the Olympics special pull out, I don't know why he was reading the beach volleyball section (I do really) but he spotted this and drew my attention to it.

There wasn't a caption attached immediately next to the photo but I found it lower down, they were apparently celebrating, my husband had thought they were spanking each other.

"Perhaps they were," I said, "why not?"

This is a much better picture of the girls. Thanks to Beanpoleuk for sending link to the Telegraph.

Ronnie

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Men lazy about sex

According to French scientists, men just want to sleep after sex whereas us girls are usually up for more.

I read it in Sunday's Times but the Telegraph also carried the story, I asked P about it, whether he felt tired or anything after sex. He said no and he wouldn't normally have time for even a cat nap because our sex is often impromptu, squeezed in amongst other things rather than at the end of day bedtime thing. Then he picked up on the other part of the research, the bit about women wanting more, he asked me if I thought it was true, I didn't answer but he said if it was it just boiled down to men are lazy and women are sex maniacs.

My husband likes to see things in simple terms:)

So does your man fall asleep after sex and ladies do you want more?

Ronnie

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No Pert Bums?

So, according to yesterday's Sunday Times, the Olympics Beach Volleyball teams are going to be allowed to wear leggings and long sleeved tops if they want to because of the continuing rotten British weather which is remaining unseasonably cold and wet.

Apparently the beach volleyball is attended by a higher ratio of males than any other Olympic sport.......yes you guessed it, because of all those pert bikini clad bums and all that stretching and bending. So, can we assume that if the weather remains bad, attendances will drop?

Oh all those disappointed males:)

Have a good week.

Ronnie

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Thrashed all those Rears

The Sunday Times attracted my attention with the above words, as you can imagine it would but had nothing to do with this type of thrashing of rears.

It was on the back page of Review, where it was announced that the girl on the right was awarded Rear of the Year last week, and the Times reporter cheekily congratulated her on thrashing all those other contending rears.

Anyway my attention was focused and I googled to see if I could find a better picture of her. I couldn't, but what I did find reported in the Daily Mail was that the 2011 winner of this dubious award, a certain Carol Vorderman, the girl on the left, said she was disappointed to have been pushed aside and have to hand the award over.

I wondered which one my husband would prefer so I asked him which one he would most like to spank and it didn't take him long to make up his mind although his reasoning, as ever, was not entirely straightforward. He chose the girl on the left (Carol Vorderman).

"How come?" I asked. "She's much older and she looks a bit over padded to me," I said.

"Age doesn't come into it at all," said my gallant husband, "but substance does and Vorderman's got substance. She's a mathematician, you know."

So that's it then is it, P, perhaps I need to get my calculator out:)

I copied another image of Ms Vorderman from the Daily Mail's article just for good measure.

Ronnie

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50 Shades of Porn

"Psst! wanna see a really good porn site I found the other night? I'll email you the address."

Now you wouldn't expect to overhear a whisper like that at the school gates where mumsies cluster to pick up their darling offspring, who they would no doubt fight tooth and claw to protect from exposure to such things. And you probably wouldn't hear it.

But, according to Sunday Times columnist India Knight in her prominent piece yesterday, the same mumsies who do the school run and support women's rights and lunch out are, indulging themselves in exactly the same type of pornography peddled on the internet.......except it's wrapped up and packaged differently in 50 Shades of Grey, which has topped the best-sellers list here for the last ten weeks.

India Knight described it as 'Waitrose porn' (Waitrose is a posh UK supermarket for those who don't live here) and her article is insightful and witty, she's neutral on porn but clearly a bit scathing about the hypocrisy of middle England moms who delude themselves into thinking what they're reading is art, or liberating, or really a love story or whatever they tell themselves.

And apparently it's the sado masochism and domination that fires these ladies up. Funny isn't it, women fight for over a century to get equal treatment, then drool over the prospect of being beaten and dominated.

I wonder if the mail order guys have had a surge in orders for S&M related products to the well heeled post codes:)

Can't comment on the book as I haven't read it yet.

Ronnie

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Masturbation before, or after, your Spanking?

"Did you know Juliette Binoche masturbates in her new movie?"

No I'm not asking you, it's a question my husband asked me on Sunday, he was reading the Sunday Times Culture magazine and he just asked it out of the blue. I told him no, sorry P, she didn't tell me she was going to masturbate in her latest role, and asked him why he was asking anyway (I know my husband fancies Juliette Binoche) but he just said 'Oh just reading about new film releases, it's called Elles, wouldn't mind seeing it'.

Ah, when P spots a film he likes to look of Ronnie's expected to say yes please that sounds great but when the converse happens P usually says hmm, sounds interesting why don't you see it with one of your friends:) Anyway I googled the movie and it does sound ok and I think Ms Binoche is a great actress, might be a great masturbator too for all I know, perhaps I'll find out and in case you're interested here's a view.

But here's the funny thing, within minutes of P's question I flipped over a page of Style magazine and there was a full double page feature on guess what.. Female Masturbation. It was well written, witty and insightful, exposing the hypocrisy espoused by many women that they don't do it and questioning why it's so all right for men but something secret for women. I asked my husband, being as he appeared to be in a communicative mood, and tuned in to the subject of female masturbation, whether he thought it was a good or bad thing for women to do it. He said he thought it was good, in fact very good. So I asked him if he thought it was good that I should do it and first he looked quizzical as he considered his response, then he said 'why would you need to' followed by 'so do you then?'.

"Would you like to see me some day?" I asked.

"It'd almost certainly get you spanked." Said my husband.

"Before or after?" I was pushing my luck now.

"I'll come back to you on that." Said P and that was the end of it.

I hope he doesn't forget, and I think I will certainly be going to see that film with him, in fact it will probably be me reminding him rather than the other way round.

Ronnie

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Dump the Orgasm

Hot off the press - well it was the Sunday Times last weekend actually.

Their reporter, Clover Stroud, attended a sex talk organised by Coco de Mer's founder Sam Roddick. The talk was about the 'Painful Pleasures of Sensual Sex Scenes and Spanking'.

OK so it got my attention. Some of you will know about Coco de Mer, it's a super expensive but lovely quality London sex shop, I've been there (in fact I've got one of their wooden rulers) and wrote about it HERE.

Now they're giving seminars at £69 a time (69 - catchy number eh) and apparently they're selling well.

Ms Rodddick says she'd like to 'dump the orgasm as the primary goal in sex and, instead, encourage people to teach themselves about feeling and conduct'. The article doesn't say in what way exactly people should do that, I can only assume the reporter may have mis-heard Sam's advice and perhaps she meant 'mis-conduct', which would certainly be relevant to spanking and 'feeling' could be...well...there is quite a lot of it during a spanking.

At the end of the article the reporter points out that Ms Roddick applauds the girl sitting on the chair next to her, her name was Anna, for conscientiously taking note throughout the spanking talk. Presumably Sam will be well equipped to begin receiving or giving at the earliest opportunity. Ms Roddick concludes with 'We educate ourselves about cooking, gardening, architecture and literature, so why not sex?', to which the reporter comments 'Sounds like my kind of homework'.

I told P about it, I said perhaps I ought to attend one of the talks. He laughed and said I should be giving the talk, I get enough practice.

Also seminars on how to become 'The Mistress in the Bedroom.'

Ronnie

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Spanking in Paradise

It's the name of a film, released in the UK at the end of August, and I would have known nothing about it had it not been for a double page interview and feature in the Style section of yesterday's Sunday Times.

From what I read, and later researched on Google, the film is amusing and well acted and tells the true story of a boy brought up by a single parent (his dad) who happened to be a brothel owner, amongst other businesses, in Scotland.

The director, Wayne Thallon, who was also the boy in real life, tells of the hours he spent in the brothel waiting for his dad, looked after and pampered by the girls, and he tells one particular story in the interview which amused me.

Apparently a local lawyer was attending the brothel one day and was in the S&M room, tied up and hooded whilst getting a sound paddling (I mean, who wouldn't want to paddle a lawyer) when the boy's father came into reception. He learned that the lawyer in S&M was someone who owed him money so he entered the S&M room, took the paddle from the dominatrix and continued the paddling, upping the tempo somewhat. The lawyer's cries of "No! Stop please!" soon turned to "Strawberries! Strawberries!..." It was only later that the boy learned that 'No Stop please' didn't mean stop at all, but "strawberries" was a special word and most definitely did.

I hope he got his money back from the lawyer:)

The film has a facebook page. I might even download a copy.

Happy Halloween.

Ronnie

xx

Borgias star and women's bottoms

Did you have a good weekend?

Jeremy Irons is in trouble, or at least he is with Sunday Times columnist Camilla Long.

She wrote a vitriolic piece on him yesterday all because he gave a recent interview in which he expressed certain views about sexual harassment and his own sexuality and, particularly, what seemed to annoy Ms Long was Jeremy's assertion that:-

''If a man puts his hand on a woman's bottom, any woman worth her salt can deal with it. It's communication. Can't we be friendly?''

Now I've seen and much enjoyed lots of Jeremy's films, he's a great actor, he might be a bit opinionated lots of very successful people are, but I honestly don't think he meant his comment to be taken as approval for genuine sexual harassment. I think Ms Long has got some sort of hang up and she's taking it out on Jeremy, perhaps she doesn't get anybody touching her derriere, who knows.

Anyway I showed the article to my nearest and dearest and he said she just needed...well, I guess you can imagine what he said.

Sorry I can't link to the article because the grand Sunday Times require subscription these days and I object to that on principle.

Ronnie

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My Husband's a Pygophile

No really, he is. And he can't get arrested for it. I didn't even know the word until yesterday when I read the Sunday Times Style magazine, it actually means he loves a good butt and that's what the article was all about and how the recent trend is for 'bigger is better'.

The author, Clover Stroud, dismisses Pippa Middleton's bum with a quote from Jemima Khan on Twitter which said 'Pippa has the ass of a prepubescent boy.' Instead, the article says, substantial derrieres with owners like Kim Kardashian, Carole Vorderman, Jennifer Lopez and Beyonce are the ones to watch and try to emulate. Kardashian, on the left in the orange skirt, also gives few tips on how to keep a bottom pert and in proportion:-

1. Working the glutes is the answer

2. Lunges and squats do the trick

3. Nice cream teas and cup cakes

4. Slathering with coconut oil.

My husband said he wouldn't mind giving her a good slathering, whatever that entails. She also said little dimples of cellulite are ok (Yeah!!.)

The article also says big bums are defiant and say something about their owners. They refer to Taschen's Big Butt Book as evidence although I googled it and skimmed through a few pages and couldn't quite follow their logic.

Never mind, the bottom line is, if we want to wiggle like Monroe, we just need to think like Kim and keep on eating those cream teas and cup cakes. Oh, and get slathered from time to time.

A couple of images from the Big Butt Book:-

Ronnie

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Empress's Ivory Spanking Fan

Bawdy baronet's steamy love for Empress Insatiable.

Yep that was the actual headline that got my attention, it was featured in the Sunday Times, I had to read it, the photos are terrible and obviously old so sorry about that but I still snapped them. The Empress in question was Tz'u Hsi who apparently ruled China ruthlessly for 47 years until her death in 1908. The baronet in question was Sir Edmund Backhouse, who went to live in China and became the leading Sinoligist of his day.

The article runs through all sorts of decadent 'lifestyle' predilections of the day including male eunuchs, concubines and extended sex sessions fortified by birds nest soup and opium. Yeah all pretty mundane stuff, that's what I thought too then I found the bit about the spanking. Apparently, according to the memoirs of Sir Edmund (now retrieved from the Bodleian Library in Oxford), he was thrashed by the Empress using her ivory fan on his rear.

Well! I've encountered spanking in China myself on a visit there but I doubt it was carried out with an ivory fan. I asked P to mention the spanking Empress to his Chinese contacts and see if they'd heard any stories about her but he said no way, they'd think he'd gone mad, they still regard Mao as a hero of the people.

His memoirs 'Decadence Mandchoue' comes out this month. 'A unique and shocking glimpse into the hidden world of China's imperial palace with it's rampant corruption, grand conspiracies and uninhibited sexuality. '

Wonder if it's worth a read.

Ronnie

xx

Kate Moss

Kate should be Spanked.

So here's a picture of five rears, the ladies owning them range from 26 - 56 years of age. Oh yes, and one of them is Kate Moss, nearly forgot that, whom my husband says needs a good spanking.

Can you guess which is the youngest, the oldest, which one is Kate herself? I must admit I got it wrong, I thought the middle one was an easy cert for the 56 years old because of the sag and cellulite.

I showed it to P and asked him if he could guess, but he cheated and scrolled further down the page, it actually has a mini profile of each of the bottoms girls and some advice on how to hone your buns.

P didn't do the guessing game.

''Kate needs a damn good spanking,'' he said.

''Why, just cos she's got a bit of cellulite?'' I asked, excited at the thought (I might have a smattering.)

''No, because she smokes like a chimney.''

You can see the full article in the Mail On Sunday online here

Ronnie

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You won't find these in the Ikea catalogue

I think a trip to Stockholm is called for.

Anyone who thought Sweden was all Abba, IKEA and tall leggy blondes would be wrong according to today's Sunday Times. The national Museum in Stockholm is staging an exhibition of sauce and smut, they call it 'Lust & Vice' and promise it will reveal ''predilections and perversions from past to present''.

From over a century ago, a painting (or rather two but of different aspects of the same subject) of a nun by the famous Swedish painter Martin van Meytens, who went on to become painter to the royal court in Vienna, to modern saucy shots...

.....and references to a special section in Sweden's most famous and prestigious department store, PUB, which specialises in erotic lingerie, corsets, spanking paraphernalia etc.

I googled the department store and found it but I couldn't find the spanking dept because it didn't have a search box, or not that I could see, and I don't know the Swedish for spanking anyway. But I'm sure the exhibition at the National Museum would be the main attraction, it runs from Mar 24 to Aug 14 so plenty of time to persuade P he needs to see Copenhagen again:)

Ronnie

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DIY Kinky Crafts II

No response from P yet to the little photo I sent him on Monday but I'll let you know when he does. I was reading an article in the Times Sunday Magazine last night about diets. I'll post about it Friday and take a couple of the photos.

In the meantime a couple of readers asked if I would post more Kinky Craft pictures after seeing my last post about them. So for their and your enjoyment here they are.

Thuddy Whip - not sure about this one. Suggests only to be used on the bottom. I like floggers that can be used on other parts

Bippy Bumper - Do you know what a Bippy Bumper is and how it's used?

Supported Suspension - I can image it could feel like your swinging out of control. Don't think I would feel safe.

Tongue Condom - What can I say

Ronnie

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The left-handed dentist

I couldn't help laugh, in yesterday's Sunday Times (sorry can't link the article as you have to pay now) a small piece by Rod Liddle (he's one of their more irreverent columnists and often takes pot shots at the establishment and general silliness) told of a dentist who's in trouble for smacking women patients' bottoms, touching their breasts and suggesting they might be able to settle their bills in certain ways.

The dentist has appeared in court, his case is ongoing. His excuse - you'll love this - was that he's left handed and his surgery is built for right handed dentists, it makes it awkward for him to negotiate some of the equipment and his hand can end up where it shouldn't be. Ha! Well if he gets off the hook with that one it can only be by a left handed judge who's had similar problems. The author of the story notes that our most prominent public left hander at the present time in the UK is our prime minister David Cameron, and he issues a tongue in cheek warning to his female cabinet colleague, Theresa May the Home Secretary, to watch her back...and her front for that matter.

I've only recently signed up to a new dentist, a lady as it happens, and she seems ok. But the thought of booking a check-up and polish, oh and I'll have a bottom smacking while you're at it please, made me smile.

Sorry haven't been around commenting much this weekend, having problems again with blogger.

Ronnie

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Mums give online sex tips

Well I hope you all had a good weekend, they go too fast for me especially now the weather seems to be picking up. We had a busy one, Saturday morning both of us had to work then we had some family visiting with nephews.

They stayed overnight so Sunday morning his SIL and I went for an hour's shopping because she wanted to visit a large M&S and we've got one fairly close, leaving the boys to watch a local amateur football game with son and later we went over the the park, I felt like a big kid doing things you can only do when you've got youngsters around, great fun, I even went on the park swings and showed the kids how to get really high only to have their mom rightly tell them not to copy my technique.

While she was in M&S I popped across to the art shop to get a picture frame for a graduation photo I want to put up, they also had some nice greetings and congrats cards which I mooched through because we're going to a wedding reception next month, and I found an absolute gem which I bought even if I don't send it to them. I'll post it later this week, it's lovely, you'll like it I promise.

They left late Sunday afternoon and we got back to normal. Reading the Sunday Times with a cup of tea I came across an article about Mumsnetters which amused me. Apparently pollsters reckon Mumsnet (www.mumsnet.com) could be very influential in deciding the outcome of our upcoming general election, well according to the Times the site has been getting rather raunchy of late and many moms have been posting sex tips and bedroom secrets, some of which sound hilarious, for example one woman's post about her man wanting to make pirate noises when making love, putting on a strange voice and saying things like 'Arr matey' in the style of a sea captain off the Simpsons. Hmmm, not quite for me but it made me smile, perhaps the lady in the picture didn't find it amusing either. Nor do the politicians, whose wives are allegedly all into Mumsnet?

Sunday night we nearly went for a drink, that's what a bit of sunshine and a warm day does to P, I mean we can go for a drink any time down to the local it's walking distance, but P said what about going for a drink at so-and-so which is about 15-20 mins drive so one of us had to drink juice, we didn't go eventually, P got some email from one of his China partners who's got quite a few interviews happening next week and needed some advice, P decided to answer them because of the time difference rather than lose a day Monday.

We watched a DVD later, in bed for just after midnight, it seems weird going to bed later than our son, he's in bed early because he's up very early, long days but making his mark in his first professional job. P put his hand on my bum and said 'Fancy a quick spanking to help you sleep?' It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop so no chance of that, I just went 'Mmmmm' and pushed my backside into his hand. ' I take it that's a yes then,' said P. 'Sort of', I said as I snuggled down, 'a long spanking would be better but as neither is going to happen, goodnight.' And I was fast away in minutes with my husband's hand just where I like it to be.

Ronnie

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Crying is OK

I asked P yesterday evening when was the last time he'd cried, he was reading whatever and looked at me a bit odd for disturbing him, then he said he didn't know. Then before I got chance to tell him he said he did remember actually, it was when his brother died, and it wasn't really crying, it was everything built up and he just lost it for a few moments. He couldn't remember a time before that. Why, he asked.

''Because I just read an article by India Knight, in today's Sunday Times, saying we all cry a lot more these days and it's good for us, and she actually looks suspiciously upon anyone who doesn't cry or says they never cry.'' I answered, and went on to summarise some of the article which is actually very good and makes sense, and gives loads of reasons for crying and why it's good for you.

''And?'' He asked.

''Well I was just wondering, when you spank me, maybe I should cry more, what do you think. I mean she didn't mention spanking, I just wondered.''

''You hardly ever cry except over books or sad movies,'' he said, ''I do remember a few times when you've sniffled after a spanking but mostly I'd say you cry out, which is not the same as crying.''

''I did cry when you spanked me for being horrible about your mom,'' I corrected him, ''but you'd gone to pick her up so you missed most of it.''

''Well be horrible about my mom again then and see if it makes you feel good, then if it doesn't write to India Knight and complain.'' I knew he was joking but I had a point, I just wasn't making it very well. I think I'd like to cry more but I don't want a sore backside for days after just to test it, and anyway I don't think it was the pain that made me cry on that occasion, I think it was more that I'd genuinely offended P and didn't have chance to apologise.

''I think I'm most likely to cry when I've genuinely offended you,'' I told him, ''and it's the words you use when you discipline me that turn on the waterworks.''

''Ah,'' he said, ''so my spankings don't make you cry but my words do. So I need to up my spanking and hold back on the words. I'll get the balance right one day.'' He was still joking, maybe I chose the wrong time to ask. ''What are you reading, by the way?'' I asked him.

''Somebody taking trip down the Danube,'' he answered. ''Okay, sounds interesting,'' I lied and went back to my paper.

Intellectual conversation hardly, but if by some miracle he remembers and does up his spanking, well, who am I to argue.

Ronnie

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