Women behaving badly

"Drooling over male bodies is apparently fair play — no wonder men are confused." So said Camilla Long, a journalist I rarely read in the Sunday Times and wouldn't have except that my husband drew my attention to it.

"What really gets your gears going? It is a question a million sex-obsessed women seem to be thrashing out in public every day. Who’s got the hottest smile, the fittest abs? Who gives the most to charity; who’s got the waistcoat you most want to rip off with your teeth? Scan any part of the internet and it is the same: a frothing sea of volcanic female fantasies about footballers, tennis players, even, in extremis, politicians. It is oestrogen city.

“I’m so old that I’ve now fancied two generations of Schmeichels,” moaned one woman during the Denmark match on Wednesday. “There are two?” yelled another. “I’ve just left a little puddle of drool.”

"Is that why you've been watching the football so assiduously," P joked (I think), "fantasising about who's got the best six-pack or whatever.....and leaving little puddles of drool?"

I laughed but I read the article. Journalists do go on a bit, justifying their existence I suppose, but at the end of it she concluded that the truth was that women were just as bad as men when it came down to that sort of thing, and probably always have been but with the rise of more women into positions of power, (levelling up I suppose our idiot of a PM would call it), they are not shy to express themselves any more and journalists like Camilla happy to fill column space with her observations.

What do you think, are we as basic as men, have us girls pretended to hold the moral high ground but now the truth is emerging? I think there's probably some truth in it but I told my husband later I definitely hadn't been following the football in the hope of glimpsing six-packs or fantasising about what may lie beneath their kit and I definitely hadn't been drooling. He said that was good then as he'd have had to spank me if I had been.

Shit! Opportunity missed.

Stay safe. Have a good week.

Ronnie
xx

Quiet sex toys please

Apparently during the pandemic there has been a massive growth in sales of sex toys with particular demand for 'quiet' ones. Celebs haven't been slow to get involved. Cara Delevingne became a co-owner and creative adviser of Lora DiCarlo, whose products include a “premium robotic massager” costing £270, Dakota Johnson became an investor and creative director in high-end sex-toy brand Maude, Lily Allen collaborated with German brand Womanizer to design her own £89 stimulator and Gwyneth Paltrow well she never stops.

The article, which appears in the Times, (you wont be able to read full article) says the pandemic has particularly affected younger adults, singles who haven't been out and about able to date (read get sex) and make new friends although sales are up in all age ranges and they're not afraid to spend. Even Ann Summers has reported increased sales in the higher spend range with their quietest vibrator, the Whisper Rabbit, up by 60 per cent compared with a year ago. People wishing to be discreet while living and working in close proximity to flatmates, grown-up kids who have had to move back in with their parents during lockdown and long term couples who've had to find new ways to spark things up while living hand in glove are all thought to have contributed.

So make hay while the sun shines, because it looks like lockdowns are going to be starting to ease.
 
I mentioned the article to my husband and asked him if he'd felt any need to make exotic purchases during lockdown and not told me, he looked at me as if I were mad then smiled. "I suppose you could count a cane a sex toy," he said, "and it is pretty quiet....it's the recipient who makes all the noise." I felt myself blush a bit as he said it, why that still happens after all these years I don't know.

Stay safe.

Ronnie
xx

Valentine's Day

"You can’t strike sparks off your significant other if you’re glaring at them across the kitchen table 24/7. Or you might find yourself avoiding eye contact altogether, for fear your loved ones will glimpse the lake of ennui within"

What's that all about then? Well I took in from an article in the Sunday Times by Rowan Pelling, it was basically saying forget Valentines, or perhaps Valentines can still go ahead but not as we know it:)  She doesn't use those words, I added them.

The thrust of her article is basically forget this year, even the big advertisers have scaled back because they know they're flogging a dead horse. So what are the thoughts on what we could maybe do instead of what we would usually hope to do? Here they are:-
 
● Go for a run or similar form of physical exertion, so you have good endorphins flooding through you — rather than murderous ones
 
● Lay off the booze for once, so your senses aren’t totally muted. Try a bit of sustained eye contact: feel the fear and do it anyway
 
● Watch Bridgerton or The Handmaiden on Netflix and let the actors do the heavy panting for you. Buy the Costa Book of the Year, Monique Roffey’s The Mermaid of Black Conch, which has a first-rate squelchy man-mermaid sex scene (if you like that, read Roffey’s searingly erotic novella The Tryst, featuring a sex daemon)
 
● Settle for a hug or kiss — this February 14 is all about small wins.
 
Alternatively, switch on the electric blanket and go to bed early with a box of chocolates: a gift from the person who knows your needs best — yourself.
 
I don't like any of them, I shall try to find my own way of releasing endorphins and I hope it will involve P giving me a very long and satisfying Valentine's spanking. That will do nicely and if there's a bit of sex thrown in that will be a bonus, better than a box of chocolates.

Stay safe.

Have a good week.
 
Ronnie
xx

What really went on in Helsinki

I’m not going to keep going on about Donald Trump but I couldn’t resist pasting this part of an article by Niall Ferguson in Sunday’s Times (you need to be registered to read whole article) which he writes for. He is also a senior professor of economic history, teaching in America where he recently became a citizen so he now has dual nationality.  P sent it to me, he thought it was funny coming from a top notch historian, here goes:-

....... historians will mention Helsinki, but — if they are any good — the question they will ask is: what did Trump and Putin actually discuss in private, with only interpreters present? If I know Putin, it will have been the big-picture geopolitical stuff. Let me hazard a guess at what was said...

VP: What is the point of our constantly being at odds, Donald?

DT: Beats me.

VP: These sanctions are the work of your corrupt Congress. They are pointless. I am not giving back Crimea, and you know it.

DT: That’s a fact.

VP: True, I occasionally try to liquidate my political opponents, sometimes in foreign locations such as Salisbury, sometimes unsuccessfully, but your CIA has been doing that kind of wet job since time immemorial.

DT: There’s no denying it.

VP: Who are our real enemies?

DT: The Chinese. The Iranians. I’m kind of sick of the Germans too.

VP: You’re talking my language. I don’t much like those guys either. Here’s the way I see it. If you and I can work together, I can help you and you can help me. We cut a deal in the Middle East. We screw the Iranians — I don’t need them any more in Syria. We put the squeeze on the Chinese before they take over the world, including my back yard in central Asia. And we remind the Germans how much they fear us and need you.

DT: I like it.

VP: But just one thing, Donald.

DT: What’s that?

VP: No one must find out what we just agreed. So when we do the press conference, make sure you play your usual game with the press.

DT: Leave it to me.

VP: You know what the historians will call you and me one day, Donald?

DT: No — what?

VP: The Double Negatives.

DT: I don’t see why they wouldn’t!

Niall Ferguson is the Milbank Family senior fellow at the Hoover Institution, Stanford.

Tongue in cheek. Perhaps.

Have a good week.

Ronnie
xx

Tennis and howls

As its tennis season, Wimbledon coming to a close this weekend, media debate over the controversial effort related screeching from certain players, I thought it was funny to read a little article in the Sunday Times by Rod Liddle.

I've printed it below, I bet if it had been Wimbledon and not Orpington the authorities would have paid a visit to Ms Evilyne:)

''Advantage Mistress Evilyne

Horrible problems for members of the Knoll Lawn Tennis Club, in Orpington, southeast London. How to concentrate on that first service when distracted by the howls of anguish coming from a man being whipped on the buttocks at the dungeon of a dominatrix next door?

The club has protested to the authorities about Mistress Evilyne’s bondage parlour, which advertises such attractions as “human ashtray” and “pinching”. One women says her teenage son witnessed a handcuffed man being whipped in the garden.

Ms Evilyne says it’s nothing to worry about, nothing illegal etc. She adds that it’s straightforward BDSM and no sex ever takes place. I don’t know what BDSM means. I think it’s one of those abbreviations we have to support, like LGBT. Just go along with it or you’ll be outed on Twitter as a ’phobe and sacked from your job. New balls please."

Have a good week.

Ronnie
xx

Whisk of fingers across a childish bottom

"Discipline is a tricky and contentious business, and it renders virtually all parents mad in their own peculiar style. Still, I don’t think the reprimanding whisk of fingers across a childish bottom in extremis is the end of the world, and I can see why — were light smacking to be criminalised — many perfectly good parents would be unjustly demonised by the law."

I read the paragraph aloud to my husband and asked him whether he agreed. He asked me if I was serious, then asked me to read it again which I did. He didn't know what it was all about and I didn't put it in context for him. He knew I was reading the ST so he sussed it was part of somebody's article or a reported story of some sort, he thought briefly and then said he would have to agree with the words I'd read out but he would want to know in what context they'd been used. He made a point that as parents were involved he assumed children were also and that made it a tricky subject, but he also made the point that a 'childish' bottom was the object of reprimand not a 'child's' bottom and that was odd wording, he thought. 

The paragraph was taken from an article by Jenny McCartney in the Sunday Times, it was really about the mistreatment of children through corporal punishment and other physical abuse, which I agreed with 100%, but there seemed to be a hint of sympathy for parents who smack proportionately (how could you measure it?), anyway later in the day I asked P if he'd read the whole article and he said he hadn't, I only wanted to tempt him into spanking related talk really, not having had one for a few days. Then I said "So do you think a reprimanding whisk of fingers across a childish bottom in extremis could apply to an adult too?"

"Oh most definitely," my husband replied, "but why only in extremis and why limit it to a whisk of fingers?" Oh good he was getting my drift. "So when I've been childish...." I said, well you can imagine what I was angling for and luckily so could my husband. We had the house to ourselves and he spanked me there and then and told me off for beating about the bush. Lovely.

Off to Queen's Club in London for a whole day of tennis (watching not playing)

Have a good week.

Ronnie
xx

Ancient Art or Modern Lust

"A magazine shoot of Kim Kardashian naked has caused a sensation. It echoes classical depictions of the female form, but far from celebrating women, it panders to male fantasy, writes our chief art critic Waldemar Januszczak"......so ran the headline in yesterday's Sunday Times.

The article is very well written and at one point says."I reckon what we are witnessing here is a power struggle that is now being enacted in US culture — a buttock-grab — between the scrawny white Caucasian hindquarters, tucked neatly into some slacks from Saks, and the billowing, bulging buns sported and preferred by more recent arrivals to the American dream"...it mentions J-Lo amongst others. It  also refers to Freud's explanations about male sexual fantasies and traces butt fascination back to ancient times and cultures.

After five minutes reading and a further five trying to digest the article to make some sense of it, I gave up and told my husband about it hoping he'd read it and have something meaningful to say. He said he wasn't going to read it, no need, he said he had no interest in Ms Kardashian per se but he'd long since identified the importance of the female backside and predicted its rise to prominence and it didn't need any highfalutin article to over complicate it. There was a pause while I waited for his further enlightenment.

"It's there to be spanked, simple," he said, "the West has temporarily lost its way with politically correct feminist movements etc and asses have taken back stage but they're on their way back, you'll see, and spankings with them."

"Really, P, you're so knowledgeable," I said tongue in cheek, making a mental note to double check my jeans in the mirror later to make sure I was displaying prominently enough.

Have a good week.

Ronnie
xx

Fifty Shades

Those who visit my little blog from time to time will know I sometimes post a snippet from the weekend press if I think its relative to our shared interest, be it funny, shocking, academic even artistic sometimes.

Yesterday I read in the Sunday Times that Jamie Dornan is going to take the male lead in Fifty Shades 'the movie', (some of you probably know that)  it was accompanied by the photo below which was from an advertising assignment he undertook for Calvin Klein (apparently Eva Mendez featured in the same ad series)

Now, as I haven't read the book myself I'm probably not qualified to make a judgement here although I've read loads of comments from others who have waded through it and exchanged views by email with many. I just thought when I looked at the torso, admittedly fit, covered in oil or whatever, that I couldn't imagine being...er...disciplined by him. I did a quick google to see if I could find any pics to persuade me otherwise but not really. I found one with him wearing a jacket at some celebrity reception, a bit warmer but still not really.

Maybe I'm just old fashioned.

Have a good week.

Ronnie

xx

Lady Lumps

........as the Sunday Times called it, or cellulite as more commonly known to you and me.

I was reading the article by Lois Rogers yesterday and was horrified:) and relieved to find out that the dreaded orange-peel effect of pitted fat affects 8 out of 10 women (it hardly affects men by the way). Horrified that it affects so many but relieved I'm not the only one, there's strength in numbers, right? So I've admitted I've got some.

Anyway I'll get to my point. There's help at hand apparently and it has FDA approval, thanks to some new laser techniques and a study by the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey, on a group of women average aged 47, showed that just one treatment could remove and prevent the return of cellulite for at least a year and some had remained cellulite free for three years. The treatment only takes between one and two hours and a local anaesthetic is sufficient. I won't go into the technical details which involve insertion of laser rods, lumpy fat and dermal tissue and made me feel squeamish.

Now the cost, a very reasonable 'upwards of' £2500. Cough splutter. So I put it to my husband, first asking him if he'd noticed any cellulite on me and second asking if he thought I should do something about it. P is very practical about things, especially money and after asking me how he would recognise cellulite if there was any (I found out later he was joking) he said he'd take a look at the article. He did and advised me that 'upwards of' was open ended, a bit like stores offering sales with 'up to' 75% off, weasel words he called it. Then he added that for a permanent solution it might (only might) stack up but at an annual cost, it just meant keeping some overpaid plastic surgeon in luxury. He also noted that right at the end of the article, an 'honest' plastic surgeon, Fazel Fateh, former President of the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons, said "It is difficult to recommend any treatment with confidence that people will get a good result". So well done Fazel, even though you're doing yourself out of business.......perhaps that's why you're no longer President, too much honesty for your colleagues to vote for.

So the "bottom" line was my husband said he had noticed a bit of cellulite on my bum and the tops of my thighs. Not much at all, he said, and he found it quite attractive. Vulnerable, he said. God knows what he meant by that but because he said nice things I stopped worrying about it immediately. He said he'd take a closer look at it later, just in case he'd missed something. That could only mean one thing:)

Have a good week.

Ronnie
xx

How Much Sex

.....is everyone really getting?

The title of the article in last weekend's Sunday Times magazine caught my attention, it was by Matt Rudd, who I read because he's often funny and quite perceptive. He took some stats from a survey of 15,000 women and also ran a survey of his own, mixed m/f of about 400. Some of his findings I've printed below:-

The French on average have sex 120 times a year.
Brits are less than 100, actual figure not given.

From Matt's own survey -
30.9% have sex less than once a month.
13.4% do it 'about once a fortnight'.
17.2% manage once a  week.
26.6% twice weekly.
8.4% said it was daily.
3.4% said more than once a day, in fact they were at it like rabbits.

Asked about whether sexual appetite diminishes with age, one woman respondent said not as far as she was concerned, it was the men who were responsible for that belief, the older they get the less imaginative and more uptight they get.

Asked about how they spice things up when everything starts to flag, all sorts of answers were received including fantasising lesbian sex, tickling feathers, blindfolds, dominance, submission, sex toys, role play etc.

So all pretty normal then. But the thing that got me was, I'd honestly say I get more sex now than I did, say, twenty years ago, I would hate to be amongst the ~60% who range between once a week and once a month (I know not possible for some with illness and long distance relationships), does that make me a sex maniac I wonder. Or perhaps my husband just presses the right buttons, I think he'd prefer me to say that.

Have a fun weekend.

Ronnie
xx

Do you think I'm a liar?

It's what my husband asked me yesterday.

He was reading the Sunday Times (again) and at the bottom of the Editorial column was the little snippet I've inserted, about men giving compliments and women taking them quite the wrong way.

I said I couldn't remember the last time he'd told me I looked curvy or figure hugging and asked him why he wanted to know. He explained and I said the only thing I could recently remember him saying that could be construed as remotely complimentary was when he told me my bum looked nice after he'd spanked me. Well he would say that wouldn't he.

But then I thought a bit more and he sometimes tells me my jeans fit well, or I look smart in a particular skirt and I started to wonder what's he really saying, so I asked him if he was really saying I looked fat. No, he said, really, just telling the truth about how I like to see you, filling your clothes properly. Hmmm I thought about that, not quite a clear answer, I think there might be something in the research after all.

So from now on I'm going to be listening out. I half wish he hadn't drawn the snippet to my attention now....so I'm sharing it with you, a problem shared and all that:)

Have a good week.

Ronnie

xx

Changing Sides

Hope you all had a wonderful weekend.

Report in yesterday's Sunday Times (haven't linked article as you have to pay to read Times on line these days) about women, from age 30, experiencing changes in sexual leanings (nothing to do with spanking), veering from heterosexual to lesbian to bisexual in no particular order, or perhaps all three. The report says only after the age of about 30 do women start to get these feelings, understand and acknowledge them and, understandably, have the self confidence to report them.

P saw the article and asked me if I thought I had any lesbian tendencies, I laughed and said I didn't think so, He said why not, was I perhaps hiding them, then he went on to name a few women who've 'come out' and I was surprised to hear that BBC news anchor Jane Hill was amongst them, I know P always fancied her, brainy and easy on the eye as he once described her. He probably fancies her more now, does anyone else get this from their men? Is it just my husband who's ears prick up when anything sapphic crops up?

I then thought about telling him that I was developing an interest in gay men but he'd see through it, he knows my interest in gay men ends with hairdressers and fashion designers. I also thought about telling him I'd started getting a bit of a crush on one of the girls from the office but I've no idea how I'd start it off and make it convincing. I'd just like to see his face if what appears to tickle his fancy became reality. Men:)

Ronnie

xx