Monday, 23 July 2018

What really went on in Helsinki

I’m not going to keep going on about Donald Trump but I couldn’t resist pasting this part of an article by Niall Ferguson in Sunday’s Times (you need to be registered to read whole article) which he writes for. He is also a senior professor of economic history, teaching in America where he recently became a citizen so he now has dual nationality.  P sent it to me, he thought it was funny coming from a top notch historian, here goes:-

....... historians will mention Helsinki, but — if they are any good — the question they will ask is: what did Trump and Putin actually discuss in private, with only interpreters present? If I know Putin, it will have been the big-picture geopolitical stuff. Let me hazard a guess at what was said...

VP: What is the point of our constantly being at odds, Donald?

DT: Beats me.

VP: These sanctions are the work of your corrupt Congress. They are pointless. I am not giving back Crimea, and you know it.

DT: That’s a fact.

VP: True, I occasionally try to liquidate my political opponents, sometimes in foreign locations such as Salisbury, sometimes unsuccessfully, but your CIA has been doing that kind of wet job since time immemorial.

DT: There’s no denying it.

VP: Who are our real enemies?

DT: The Chinese. The Iranians. I’m kind of sick of the Germans too.

VP: You’re talking my language. I don’t much like those guys either. Here’s the way I see it. If you and I can work together, I can help you and you can help me. We cut a deal in the Middle East. We screw the Iranians — I don’t need them any more in Syria. We put the squeeze on the Chinese before they take over the world, including my back yard in central Asia. And we remind the Germans how much they fear us and need you.

DT: I like it.

VP: But just one thing, Donald.

DT: What’s that?

VP: No one must find out what we just agreed. So when we do the press conference, make sure you play your usual game with the press.

DT: Leave it to me.

VP: You know what the historians will call you and me one day, Donald?

DT: No — what?

VP: The Double Negatives.

DT: I don’t see why they wouldn’t!

Niall Ferguson is the Milbank Family senior fellow at the Hoover Institution, Stanford.

Tongue in cheek. Perhaps.

Have a good week.



Anonymous said...

Very good - and horribly plausible, thanks for posting. Worth noting that Fergusson has his own agenda, and a very right wing perspective on contemporary history.

Hermione said...

Hi Ronnie,

We'll probably never know if he is close to the truth or not.


kdpierre said...

That's one possibility. Here's another:

VP: Are you being a good boy, Donald?

DT: Yes, definitely.

VP: Because you know what happens to little boys who don't listen?

DT: They get spanked by a hooker with a magazine?

VP: No, Donald, much worse. You know, I still have the "Pee Tape".

DT: (fidgets nervously) I understand, but you don't have to worry. I'm being good and I really like you a lot. OK?

VP: Good boy.

DT: (claps giddily) YAY! Good boys get treats! Can I have a treat?

VP: What would you like, Donald? A cheeseburger maybe?

DT: (whispers) Could you make Mr. Mueller go 'bye-bye' please?

Leigh Smith said...

Tongue in cheek maybe, but I fear all of it and more is probably the truth, except that VP has no respect for DJT so who knows what's in store for the US. I hope like hell our Congress comes to its senses soon or that Robert Mueller drops the hammer.

Meanwhile, the world keeps spinning on its axis and I am holding on tight and doing a lot of biting my tongue.

Rosie Jones said...

Amusing but frightening at the same time.
Rosie xx

ronnie said...

Anon. My pleasure. I don't read Ferguson unless P sends me any of his article. Thanks.

Hermione - Yes you are right unless one of the interpreters spill the beans. Thanks.

Kdpierre - Ha love it, very good. Thanks for the laugh.

SG - I don't think many leaders have respect for DT. Hold on very tight. Thanks.

Rosie - Scary indeed. Thanks.