Have a butchers

A reader who knows I like London slang recently sent me some - so I thought I'd share a few with you.  Some you might know or heard of them.

Adam and Eve - Believe - I don't bloody Adam and Eve it!

Barnet Fair - Hair - My barnet could do with a wash.

Artful Dodger - Lodger - I've got an Artful to help pay the rent.

Bottle and Glass - Arse- He fell on his Bottle.

Brown Bread - Dead - He's Brown Bread.

Peckham Rye - Tie - Where's my peckham rye?

China Plate - Mate - How are you, me old China?

Hampstead Heath - Teeth - He knocked me Hampsteads out.

Currant Bun - Sun - The Currant Bun's hot today.

Jimmy Riddle - Piddle (urinate) - I really need to go for a Jimmy.

Khyber Pass - Arse - He kicked him up the Khyber.

Lady Godiva - Fiver (five pound note) - Lend us a Lady, mate.

Loaf of Bread - Head -  That's using the old Loaf.

Mince Pies - Eyes - You've got lovely Mince Pies my dear.

Pen and Ink - Stink - Cor! what a Pen and Ink.

Bladdered - Drunk - I'm bloody bladdered.

Todger - Penis - He's got a small/large todger.

Plates of Meat - Feet - You've got big Plates.

Pony - £25 - Lend me a Pony?

Round The Houses - Trousers - Take a Butcher's at those Rounds!

Ruby Murray - Curry - I'm going for a Ruby.

Sky Rocket - Pocket - Me Skies are empty.

Tea Leaf - Thief - Watch it, he's a bloody Tea Leaf.

Tom and Dick - Sick - He's feeling a bit Tom and Dick.

Vera Lynn - Gin - I'd love a Vera Lynn.

Here's mine.....

So, next time you're in a real London boozer, have a butchers and if you hear a geezer in a dodgy looking whistle and flute telling his trouble and strife that he's going to march her up the apples and pears for spending too much time on the dog and bone, take her alan wickers down and give a right scorching on her queen mum, you'll know he's going to take her upstairs and spank her on the bum for trotting up a mega phone bill. And if you hear that after he's settled the matter they'll sit down with a nice cup of rosy lee, you'll know they're still best of friends after the event.

Have a fun weekend.

Ronnie
xx