Indian Call Centre got me spanked

What a bad few days for O2, the UK telecoms provider, losing all data connections for at least twenty-four hours and costing small businesses a fortune. I know they say they're offering compensation but I haven't heard what it is and suspect it will be a pittance. I have to admit I use O2 indirectly because I'm signed up to a Tesco mobile deal, which operates off the back of O2, but I wasn't disrupted at all because I was within reach of wifi for the period in question. Then Friday evening, presumably because of all the bad media hullaballoo, Tesco emailed to tell me they were giving me a couple of gigabytes of free extra data on my next charging period.

Laudable? No I don't think so. Just trying to pacify potential claimants was how I saw it, but what use is that to me, I never even approach my data limit so what am I going to do, rush out next month and stand in the pouring rain using up my G4 just for the sake of it? Of course not. They should be offering genuine compensation to those who have been inconvenienced, either cash or free periods, not unusable extra data. Grr.

Anyway that was nothing to do with spanking, just an observation and moan from me, but it's along similar lines. What actually got me spanked was the hassle my husband had on Saturday with our broadband provider and in particular their call centre. The problem was our connection speed dropped to low single figures when we are contracted to thirty Mbps, it started Friday night and well into Saturday afternoon P got annoyed and went onto their chat line to report it. What a palaver! First going through the security which was annoying and then being asked to download an app which would connect with our router and confirm the speed we were receiving. P didn't need it confirming, he told them, we have enough devices in the house all singing the same (slow) tune. Anyway it took ages and there were long waits between typed messages as the operative was obviously dealing with several customers at the same time.

P got annoyed after about forty minutes, then the operative explained that after a certain period of slow connection he was entitled to a 15% reduction on his next bill if he clicked a button on the app. P just went ballistic, the air around him went blue, he's very good with expletives when he's really wound up, I'm sure he makes a few up of his own, it was a good job Dipesh at the other end of the chat line couldn't hear what was being said. P calmed down a bit and typed......'this is not about compensation which is pathetic it is about getting my speed back. Can you fix it or not?' He didn't get an answer because the guy was probably going through the same nonsense with a dozen others at the same time, and eventually P got so exasperated he typed the guy he could not waste any more time and was signing off and to please just email him when it was fixed.

He told me in colourful language what he'd done, I don't know if he was looking for praise of moral support or what but I was just laughing, partly at the insults which were funny if crude and partly because he had got really wound up. I said he should have stayed online and not given up, he said it was recorded so they could just bloody well fix it they didn't need him online to do that. I was still smiling and gently shaking my head. P asked me if I thought it was funny and why the stupid smile, if it was so funny maybe I'd care to get in touch with them next time then I wouldn't think it was so funny. I was still smiling. And that was when P got up from the table and came across and spanked me.

God, I love it when my husband's hands are really hard. When he's been doing manual stuff and when he's genuinely angry they have an extra zing in them. Well he was genuinely angry, with them not me but I was getting the physical release. I shouldn't have kept smiling, I wasn't smiling when he took my jeans and knickers down and dragged me across his lap and I was yelling when he started spanking my backside with powerful meaty slaps, asking me if I still thought it was funny and of course I didn't and I tried to explain in between squealing and grimacing that it had just 'seemed' funny listening to him and of course I didn't want to see if I could do any better with them. I think he believed me, well it was the truth! But he still spanked me hard and for several minutes after I'd apologised. My backside was so hot near the end that I could no longer detect the individual spanks they were just merging and adding to the inferno. I stopped struggling and he slowed to a stop. I just lay there and glowed, literally. I purred an apology. His right hand slid from my lower back to my butt cheeks and I emitted a little squeal, it wasn't one of distress I can tell you and P knew it. What followed was a much more enjoyable session than he'd just had on the helpline with Dipesh.

So I guess thanks Dipesh, if I knew his address I'd send him a Xmas card:)

Have a good week.

Ronnie
xx