Friday, 14 March 2014

A great big spank

The current spell of warmer and dry weather is bringing out some pretty sights. The town over the weekend had shoppers in shorts, t shirts, short skirts, even a couple of pairs of hot pants I noticed, lovely to see. The number of joggers suddenly doubles, they won't all last, and then there are cyclists. I like the lycra gear 'proper' cyclists wear, the girls with their rounded bottoms straddling that little strip of leather or plastic or whatever they make saddles from and the boys with their muscled things and leaner buttocks pumping away at the pedals. I particularly like getting stuck behind a group on a hill, when they stand up on the pedals to get extra power and their bums raise up high, and they are two or sometimes three abreast.



My husband usually makes some comment about them being thoughtless buggers holding motorists up, but I don't mind at all and tell him to calm down.

We got stuck behind such a group the other day, eight or nine of them, and the air in the car was blue with expletives from P. When they had to stop at traffic lights P pulled to the outside of them, pleased at the opportunity it gave him to get past when the lights changed. I asked him how fast he thought he could pull away from the lights and he said plenty fast enough to leave that bloody lot behind. Then I lowered my window.

"I think I'll give one of them a great big spank on your behalf just as the green light shows. Are you certain you can outpace them?"

"Don't you bloody dare," said my husband and he overrode my window button promptly, then the lights changed. I smiled and waved to the cyclists as we passed them, a friendly smile not a smug one. He asked me if I would really have done that and I said, well if he kept complaining about them there could come a point when I might if the opportunity presents itself again. He didn't say anything but I bet he'll be a bit less agitated by them, or at least not show it so much.

Would I have spanked one? I would have loved to, a great big meaty smack. And a wave and a great big grin as we sped off of course:)

Have a fun weekend.


Ronnie
xx

18 comments:

Cat said...

ROFLMBO Ronnie! Oh would love to see the reaction if you did that! Do you think P would give you a barn burner for that one? ;)

Hugs and Blessings...
Cat

Anonymous said...

You have to love a girl with adventure. If you had done it I bet he would have said hey come back and give me another.
archedone

Ami Starsong said...

Oh Ronnie, you and me both. But Dan would completely agree with P.

Hugs
Ami

DelFonte said...

Naughty thoughts!
You might have started a craze - spank a cyclist!
hugs
DF

joeyred51 said...

Hi,

LD hates, hates it when bikers slow her down. I am a biker and I try to calm her down.

I would find a smack on the bottom as a fun gesture. I am not sure how others would react.

BTW. Most bike clubs stress etiquette on the road to avoid annoying drivers of cars. But, some bikers just behave badly anyway.

Have a terrific weekend.

Hug,
joey

joeyred51 said...

Hi,

LD hates, hates it when bikers slow her down. I am a biker and I try to calm her down.

I would find a smack on the bottom as a fun gesture. I am not sure how others would react.

BTW. Most bike clubs stress etiquette on the road to avoid annoying drivers of cars. But, some bikers just behave badly anyway.

Have a terrific weekend.

Hug,
joey

PK said...

I just love the way your mind thinks!

Roz said...

LOL Ronnie, I love it! I'm probably more like P. I hate cyclists holding me up!

Hugs,
Roz

Our Bottoms Burn said...

You have a lot of fun in life. Next time P is cursing for being behind some bikers, just say "Lighten up P". That should work for you.

Hermione said...

Ronnie, the things you think of! That would have been quite daring, but then, the cyclist might have taken down your licence plate number and called the police for assault.

I hate it when cyclists are two or three abreast, or think they are cars and don't stay off to the side in the bicycle lane. I'm always afraid of hitting one.

Hugs,
Hermione

Minelle Labraun said...

Oh my! I think things but not sure I would ever follow through....I think you might have followed through! LOL.
But oh boy what would P have done?

Quiet Sara said...

Exactly! We often have groups of cyclists over here on our main road. When SM and I are driving past I like to pretend I am going to pinch one on the bottom. I wonder if it has ever happened?! LOL

sara :)

Leigh Smith aka Sunny Girl said...

If that happened on this side of the pond it could have been my son-in-law. Will have to ask if he's ever had that experience.

Katie said...

LOLOL Ronnie! :). Fun plan you had there. Wonder what would have happened if P hadn't pushed that window lock button! Would you have done it? :D

We get cycling groups around here. Most of the time they seem courteous. Every now and then not so much and hold up the traffic and become a nuisance. Cute post! Could be a great video game- spank the cyclist! Lol. Many hugs,

<3 Katie

Florida Dom said...

I will never think of cyclists the same way after reading your posts, but, of course, I prefer to see the bums of female cyclists. And think about how nice it would be to spank them.

FD

ronnie said...

Cat - I think after the intitial shock of me doing something like that I would be over his knee for a bare bottom tanning:) Thanks.

Archedone - I wouldn't have been around to find out:) Thanks.

Ami - Even though its always so tempting, I'd never do it, would I, no, maybe:) Thanks.

DF - LOL That would have been a good title for the post - spank a cyclist. Thanks.

Joey - I bet you are a very disciplined rider. I must admit some are fine but other not only ride 3 abreast but 4 and five and think they own the whole road. Thanks.

PK - So do I most of the time:) Thanks.

Roz - I don't mind being held up with a sight of a few well trimmed bottoms in front of me. Thank you.

OBB - I know he wouldn't say too much if they were women cyclists:) Thanks.

Hermione - LOL. I never thought of that. Some of the riders do think they own the road. Thank you.

Minelle - Maybe I'll do it when we are on holiday in another country:) Thanks.

Sara - You could be the first:) Thanks.

SG - You'' have to tell us if its happened to him. Thanks.

Katie - I'm sure some poor cyclist must have gotten their bottoms smack or pinched. Thanks.

FD - Its very tempting, isn't it. Thanks.

Love,
Ronnie
xx

Enzo said...

Ronnie, very entertaining story; has me smiling this morning!

As an auto driver, I must say I love your idea.
I would love to spank a female bicyclist in the way of your lovely description. Delivering a "great big meaty smack. And a wave and a great big grin as we sped off of course" to one of "the girls with their rounded bottoms straddling that little strip of leather". :) Awesome.

As an avid cyclist myself however, I wouldn't dare for fear a sudden smack would send the cyclist crashing.

ronnie said...

Enzo - Thank you.I wont be giving a cyclist a hearty smack any time soon:)

Love,
Ronnie
xx