And it hurt, and it was my own fault because I persuaded him to have them. Corrupted him to have them actually, that was his choice of words in the car as we drove home from town.
You see my husband is not highly fashion conscious, certainly not when it comes to himself anyway, so he balks at paying what he always calls over the odds for nice stuff. Now we're going away somewhere warm next month and his beach flip flops from the last several years are looking a bit ragged to say the least.
so I convinced him, against his better judgement, that he should upgrade to a new pair especially now with the summer (what summer?) sales on. I persuaded him to try on a nice leather pair, told him they looked great, pointed out they were on the sale shelf blah blah blah, and even said I'd pay for them (because honestly his old ones are an embarrassment. (A little likes these. They were broken but P glued them) which I did without telling him the price.
Later in the car I did tell him the price and what a good deal it was and he momentarily lost concentration and nearly knocked someone of a cycle he was so outraged, he said he normally pays about a fiver for them in beach side shops and even that's too much. So we exchanged a few words, he said we'd been ripped off which was ridiculous I'd known exactly what I was doing, and when we got home he said he'd try them on properly which he did. He found faults which he hadn't realised in the shop - they were leather so he wouldn't be able to splash through the surf, the heels were uncomfortable, they would fade in the sun, he did go on.
Eventually I told him he should just shut up and accept them and be glad someone cares how he looks, I said I was throwing his old ones out with the rubbish. He thought about it, didn't say anything, went upstairs, I heard him bumping about, then a few minutes later he was back in the lounge wearing his old flip flops.
"See my old ones are fine, perfect for my needs," he said.
"They need to go in the bin, P," said moi,"really they do, they're disgraceful, you'll have to have your own beach space if you insist on wearing them."
"Well they're not going in the bin, but those poncy leather ones are going back to the store."
I told him I wouldn't take them back, he'd change his mind and see sense. Unfortunately I think he saw red instead of sense; he picked up one of the new flip flops, pulled me off my seat and over to the dining table where he told me to take my jeans down and bend across it for him to spank me. I said no way, it wasn't fair it was getting out of proportion, so he put his flip flop on the table and took my jeans down for me, then after bending me easily across the table and securing me there with his left hand he spanked me for several minutes, pausing only to yank my knickers down towards the end, with the damned flip flop and it hurt as much as a paddle hurts.
I struggled as I always do when it's unfair, I may have called him some names too, he said I did and he said I was lucky he hadn't gone and fetched the cane to me.
I immediately apologised for calling him anything even if I couldn't remember what it was I'd called him. He seemed satisfied, threw the 'implement' on the floor and re stated his earlier instruction that they were to go back to store and this time I didn't argue. Then he went and made two cups of tea and said he was going to watch some a wildlife documentary on TV and I could join him if I wanted.
I did join him but not until I'd made a show of packing tissue round the flip flops and putting them back in their box as a clear sign of obedience (I did remove them later for this photo shot.)
So guys, any of you in the UK who have the good taste to buy a pair of leather flip flops from Jones in the coming weeks be aware that they have a powerful dual use (I should say girls be aware too!) and someone, size ten, is likely to be buying a pair which has my DNA all over the right sole.
Ronnie
xx
Let me know if the picture is yours so I can give credit.
