It's my duty as much as my husband's to help save him from the
laughably named 'safety camera' mobile speed patrols. Well when I'm in
the car with him anyway, obviously. You see he got caught on one a few
weeks ago and recently attended a 'driver rehabilitation course' to
avoid getting penalty points on his licence. He was angry when he got
the letter from the county police telling him what his options were and
detailing the offence which, for the record, was travelling at 36 mph in a
30 mph zone. The fact that it was early evening and totally dead, I mean
I can vouch for that because I was with him and spotted the camera
first, doesn't get taken into account of course. It's just binary, you
sped or you didn't. It would make no difference if it was 3 am in the
morning you still get done.
My husband rants a bit about such things. Why don't they have
intelligent cameras which measure road conditions at the time, they've
got the technology easily. It's just a revenue source, he says. Anyway
he opted to do the rehab course (which suspiciously costs exactly the
same as the fine would have) and chose a venue near Stafford which was about
the nearest to us but still would take up about four hours of his day, he wasn't a happy bunny. Then he got a confirmation back and - this made
him happy - notification that his rehabilitation would be done online
because of the covid restrictions. So he's done it now and passed
(nobody fails) and his licence is still clean.
The funny thing is, although he hated it and was scathing about it prior
to the online session which took about two hours, he was quite
complimentary about the efficiency and friendliness of the administrator
and has since moderated his driving habits, how long that will last who
knows but for now it's noticeable and I complimented him on it. He told
me I should drive more and take the risk on my licence but I said it
wouldn't happen to me because I wouldn't speed and in any case I'd spot
the cameras quicker than him. Of course that led him to say well if I'd
spotted the camera so bloody quickly why didn't I yell out loud.
That was when he told me it was my responsibility as much as his. Then
as an afterthought he told me I should pay half the fee, to which I told
him he could fuck off. He took me upstairs and spanked me, not for
refusing to contribute and not for swearing but for
daring to suggest that I spotted things like cameras quicker than him:) I
knew it wasn't going to be a serious spanking, worse luck, because his
mood was light but it still stung and left me with glow for half an hour
or so.
I went downstairs to make some lunch. I called up and told him a
sandwich and a mug of tea were done and he came down with a smile on his
face.He'd been talking with our son who told him about a nifty little
app called Waze which spotted speed cameras and other hazards and was
kept up to the minute live by its users. He said he'd downloaded it. I
asked him if that meant I still had to remain alert and speak up if I
spotted one. He said I'd better, unless I wanted another spanking.
Trouble is, I do:)
Stay safe.
Have a good week.
Ronnie
xx
