Monday, 18 June 2018

WTF is that for

My words, whispered quietly to my husband, as he stood beside me at the checkout. He'd just raced down an aisle with it, jumped the queue and put it in my basket as I was one customer away from paying. He smiled and nodded to the lady behind us who probably thought he had a bloody cheek until it became clear we were together.

"To cane your arse," he whispered back still smiling. "Just buy it."

"I'm not having my bottom caned with that thing," I said when we'd paid and were out of earshot of anyone. "I can't believe you've just done that, you never wave flags, I can't imagine you sitting in front of the TV with it. Who's it for?"

It had to be for a kid, it just had to be. Aside from anything, it wasn't long enough to give a decent caning anyway and I'd run a mile before giving in to getting caned with an England flag. Then he explained himself, devious smart man that he is.

"I'm taking it to Portugal," he said, "after I've removed the plastic pole and fitted the flag onto a nice straight handle cane, maximum hand baggage size, 55cm I believe. If I'm stopped at airport security it will just look like I'm a football fan. Simple. Once we're there the flag can go, I shall have other uses for the 'pole' though."

I was relieved on two counts, one I shall likely be getting my backside warmed whilst in warmer climes and two my husband hasn't suddenly become a flag waver. Oh and not forgetting the price....99p:)

Have a good week.



NoraJean said...

Brilliant! ... gotta love a man with a creative mind ... enjoy your flag waving pole, wherever it takes you, Ronnie! ... nj

Michael M said...

England 0 - Portugal 12
One fan is delighted.

Roz said...

Hi Ronnie, how creative of P! Gotta love how he thinks, awesome! Have a wonderful vacation. Something tells me you will, and that you will have some stories to share with us :)


Minelle Labraun said...

Ahhh he’s thinking ahead! Vacations do add a spark!

Bikss said...

We men love pervertables, don’t we? And appreciate it even more when the ladies enjoy them too. Enjoy the sunny climes!!

Hermione said...

Brilliant! Customs would never suspect a thing. Have fun!


morningstar said...

gotta love an inventive man :)

Enjoy Portugal ! :)

Baker said...

Sounds like you all will have a lovely time.

Cat said...

Damn Ronnie...ya gotta love a creative man and P has proven himself that! Wishing you a lovely caning.

Hugs and blessings...Cat

PK said...

I love a man who thinks ahead!!

Red said...

Brilliant idea of P to save you the embarrassment of explaining why you have a cane with you. An explanation you might have tried “ we are English,! Doesn’t every husband bring one when they travel?” Might have been amusing. Sounds like a wonderful vacation is in your near future.
Bottoms up

Anonymous said...

Very clever!



ronnie said...

Nora Jean - I love his thinking. Thanks.

Michael - LOL. Thanks.

Roz - I think I might:) Thanks.

Minelle - Oh yes they do. Thanks.

Bikss - Hello. It's a win win for both. Thanks,

Hermione - P said I have to carry it in my hand luggage. Thanks.

Morningstar - More inventive than me. Thanks.

Baker - In more ways than one. Thanks.

Cat - I'd never have thought of it. Thanks.

PK - I was quite surprised. Thanks.

Red - As I'm carrying, I still hope I'm not stopped. Thanks,

Anonymous - I'm sure I will. Thanks.


Ella said...

Your post has made me think that perhaps there is some penalty if one of your travel canes is found among the items in your suitcase. We have packed it several times. Should we be more cautious, Ronnie?

Hugs Across the Pond,

ronnie said...

Ella - If one was found it would be the explaining I'd hate to do, so better to be safe and find a way to disguise them:) Thanks.


DelFonte said...

Devious man :-)