Wednesday, 23 March 2011

Planned Spanking

Talking with Hermione and Zelle about dressage tickets for the London 2012 Olympics (I have applied for tickets and for the 100m and 200m events so keeping fingers crossed) I remembered I'd hadn't shown P my new jodhpurs, I mean why buy them and then not wear them and why wear them and not get spanked in them ('What about riding in them' did I hear someone say? - you're kidding not know of course.)

So while he was at work on Saturday I tried them on with boots my white blouse and took a look in the mirror. Yep good fit, I thought, in fact I would like to wear them out somewhere and if P would be kind enough to accompany me to one of the nice country pubs in Staffs or Warks one of the days I'm sure I wouldn't feel out of place but as for mooching around our local town in them I think not. I'm sure I spent more time at the mirror than I would to go out to a posh dinner, I swapped my knickers for a thong (I don't like them but I do have some and it took away the pantyline) and removed my bra.

I wouldn't do that for a country pub trip of course but a trip across my husband's lap was another matter. Touch of lipstick, which again I'm not big on but I do keep a few and one pillar box red in particular (do riders wears lipstick? - I've no idea but I can assure you this slutty pretend one does). It was about half an hour from when P normally gets home on Saturdays, I could hardly wait. I fished out our riding crops, yes that's plural, we have two, one in black braided leather and the other mauve with a black handle and flapper. I chose the black one and was about to walk downstairs with it when I thought 'No, hold on, do I want it down in the lounge with me or do I want to made to go and fetch it?' I decided the latter and left it on the bed.

Downstairs I retrieved some used cups and a plate from the dishwasher (I don't switch on till it's full, green to the core) and scattered them around, displaced a few cushions, poured a tiny drop of red wine into a glass and smudged lipstick onto the rim, thought about actually drinking some to get it on my breath but couldn't quite manage that, I don't drink day times except at weddings and occasionally Sunday lunch if we're out. That was about it, I was mentally preparing a few flippant answers as to why the attire, why the messy state of the lounge, why the wine etc, about five minutes I reckoned, my backside was beginning to tingle, I played with my imagined answers as the minutes ticked by, flippant was OK but a bit of sauce was needed too, in fact a bit of attitude would go down well, yes I could manage that no problem. I hoped my rear could cope with what my scheming brain was setting it up for.

Ten minutes after P's normal arrival time I was getting anxious, pacing around, about to phone him when I heard a car on the drive, I went to the door and peeped through one of the little fan shaped windows, there were two people in his car. P got out and went to the boot and his mother got out the passenger side. Shit shit bloody shit! I was up those stairs two at a time and I can tell you my lovely riding gear came off a damn site quicker than it went on. I heard the front door open as I was pulling on my jeans, t shirt nearest to hand, slippers, about to go down when I remembered I didn't have a bra on so back the bedroom and a good job I did because I caught sight of myself in the mirror and realised I still had the ghastly red lipstick on. I got it off as best I could, straightened myself in the mirror, took a deep breath, calm. Right, here goes, offer his mom a cup of coffee, chat about the neighbourhood thugs (8-year-olds who accidentally let paper airplanes fly into her garden) and arthritis and bad nights sleep and such, bit of a letdown when by rights I really should be getting my comeuppance.

When I got downstairs, she'd already made coffee and a tea. She'd also cleared away the cups and my wine glass and straightened the cushions before sitting down. God she must have thought what a lazy good for nothing her son had landed. P was in the garage unloading some stuff from the car, it was several more minutes before he came in and went up to change. When he came down he smiled at me, I'd left my riding gear and the crop in a bundle on the bed.

I'd completely forgotten P had promised to take his mother to get some plants from the garden centre. They hadn't been yet, thought I might like to go with them. Oh sure, that would be lovely. I did go, didn't buy anything, P's mom bought enough for the neighbourhood. I kept seeing canes everywhere, life isn't fair sometimes.



PK said...

ROFL!! I can just seen you ripping off your outfit while MIL straightens up the house down stairs. Little hard to explain why dishes were scattered around. I love when life gets exciting - especially if it's someone else's life!


Our Bottoms Burn said...

I was mentally preparing a few flippant answers as to why the attire....

I do so appreciate the effort you women put into getting spanked. It makes my world go around.

Great story, almost a great spanking.

Hermione said...

I'm laughing hysterically! That's just too funny!!!

Poor Ronnie.

BTW i understand that in the show jumping world, riders wear no underwear, to catch the judge's eye.


Anonymous said...

That's the funniest story I've read in a while :).

I've often wanted to ask my wife, "Do you WANT a spanking?" No need for yours to ask.

Sara said...

Just one more very good reason I am so glad my MIL lives no where near by!!! Great story!

Anonymous said...

Very, very funny story. Cheers.

abby said...

I am still chuckling...good thing you checked. i can imagine mil waking through the door and you...well you


ronnie said...

PK - She sort off hinted at the dishes lying aroud but I changed the subject every time.

OBB - A girls gotta do what a girls gotta do :) Thanks.

Hermione - I'll remember the no knickers for next time. Thanks Hermione

Mick - No he never has to LOL

Sara - I wished mine did:)

Joeyred51 - Hi, glad you enjoyed it.

Abby - I can just imagine the look on her face had I been sitting in the lounge dressed like that LOL.

Thanks, appreciate you all stopping by.


Anonymous said...

Whenever I pass by the saddle shop in Kensington, London I wonder if the crops and clothing and boots are for riding or some more interesting activities. Now I know the answer.

Daisychain said...

Heehee, I wonder what you would have done if you hadn't seen her until she got in the house....? "I was hoping to take P for a ride?"
"I was hoping to get P to ride me?
Great story, Ronnie, you DO manage to get yourself into...and out of some scrapes...
Bless ya! xxxxxxxxxx

Pink said...

Oh, Ronnie! This is a great near-miss.

And what did P have to say when you shared your intentions with him later? Did you have a chance to wear your jodhpurs for him?

Still laughing.



Unknown said...

loved the story...Did P say anything later that night when you two were alone.
Good try..better spanking luck next time

ronnie said...

Joeyre51 - LOL, I'm sure there are genuine riders buying.

Daisy - Thanks. I suppose I could have said I was going to a fancy dress party:)

Pink, Red - thanks both. P did ask later why I had jodhpurs and the crop on the bed and I told him the whole story about the new jodhpurs, messy lounge, he laughed but did say maybe I could show him them on Saturday if son's at work:)

Thanks all.


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