The Store Detective Part 1

I walked in the large department store and quickly headed for the lifts so the damn store detective who has eyes in the back of his head couldn't spot me. I was sure he eyed me last week when I was returning a dress I'd borrowed but nothing happened and I shrugged it off.

Let me explain, I'm no thief but I'm making my way up in a large corporation and have to attend many functions with my boss entertaining overseas visitors and he expects all his staff to look smart when attending but on the salary I'm paid there's no way I could afford a new outfit every time so I borrow them as required and return them to the store a couple of days later after having it cleaned. Well if its dirty that is, well if I've spilled anything obvious like red wine on it. I have it down to a fine art, its always long coat, then if I'm borrowing its no clothes underneath just lingerie, hand full of dresses/suites to the changing room, choose what I want to borrow, put it on, the rest go back on the hanger and off I go - if I'm returning l enter the store dressed and exit in underwear, no-one the wiser. My reasoning's simple - if I happen to get stopped, which won't happen of course, but if I did, there's no law against wearing lingerie under a coat. But if I was caught wearing two layers of dresses it would be a dead give away.

And anyway I get quite a thrill wearing just my lingerie under my coat it makes me hot. Only this occasion is had be hotter than I'd bargained for because I got caught.

He must have seen the indicator for the floor I got off and followed me up, I didn't see him but that didn't necessarily mean he was a good store detective, just that I'm not very good I'd just been lucky so far. I went about my illicit business, chose several items and went to the changing rooms, no assistant to check them as usual, perfect for me, five minutes later I placed the unwanted clothes on the rail on my way out of the changing rooms, job done, nice cashmere knee length skirt and jacket under my coat and heading for the lift when a beefy hand clamped my shoulder from behind. It was the store detective, one hand on my shoulder and the other proferring his ID which could have been a bus pass for all I knew, I didn't need to read it, I knew he was the real thing and I was in trouble. I smiled outwardly and trembled inwardly as I tried to look indignant but probably just looked guilty. He was very kind and suggested we might go somewhere more private where he needed to ask madam a few questions, he took his hand from my shoulder but I still felt as if I'd been apprehended and was under arrest, I wondered about going for an urgent pee and ditching the contraband clothing, even just doing a runner but he looked fitter than me so instead I walked along with him, red faced and trying to look natural as he led me through a staff only door, through a storage area to an unused office.

A table and two chairs, plain walls. God at least there wasn't a low wattage lamp hanging from a single cord in the ceiling, instead it was brightly lit by fluorescent. When he locked the door my heart skipped a beat but then I thought it was better because I didn't want anybody bursting in halfway through my confession.

Dick - I'll call him that - took a seat, didn't offer me one, took out his mobile phone, touched a few buttons and turned the fascia to me indicating that I should look. It was me on the screen, not me today though because my hair wasn't up, it must have been last week. He made a slide show happen and I saw me in various poses some with coat flap open showing my stocking and suspenders, some showing trousers, some in the dressing room, how on earth had he done that and was it legal?, some must have been taken from video because they were a bit grainy but others had snapped perfectly on his camera, there were about twenty shots in all including some later ones taken today. He was smiling as my face glowed with embarrassment, I was speechless, I thought the police would be along any minute and put me in handcuffs.

What could I say, then he spoke, he wondered if madam would mind undoing her coat. I obliged and he asked me about the suit and I just admitted it was theirs and I was only going to borrow it and I'd be bringing it back tomorrow or the next day. Really I would, I assured him, I wasn't a thief and then I started crying. I told him I was so sorry, I truly didn't ever really steal an item not even one tiny scarf, I only borrowed them and would he please be able to vouch for that when the police came and perhaps could I pay some money to the store as compensation and maybe it wouldn't go so badly for me in court and did he think I'd go to prison and all sorts of things you say when you're blubbering.

Then Dick stood and I felt his hands on me again, this time comforting, he told me to calm down, that I'd been a silly girl, he was calm and not unkind in his words or manner and I let my head flop on his shoulder, I was so relieved when he said there was no need for the police to be involved I continued to sob, my tears making a wet patch on his jacket. He held me a while and then said ''I'll have to have the suit back.'' I nodded, of course he would, then I thought about my predicament, I had no clothes.............to be continued

OK so this is a bit out of sync with my regular posts and it's fictitious (what, you guessed?) but a real time incident did happen on the weekend to inspire it; I was in House of Fraser with my friend Jen and we saw a shoplifter get caught, really well dressed girl somewhere in her late twenties detained by a security man and I guess an assistant manager or floor manager.

We actually drifted around the displays for several minutes to see what happened, ridiculous I know, but lots of people were doing the same though they pretended not to. The police came within ten minutes and they all went outside, bet the police don't turn up that quick when there's a fight or something, anyway it happened and I felt really sorry for the poor girl even though I know she was wrong, I chatted with Jen about it, we joked about excuses she might make and then I smiled when I thought what P's solution might have been. I'll let you know on Wednesay.

Ronnie

xx