Wednesday, 5 July 2017

Enjoy Being Spanked?

Hands up, come on. So here's an article I found on refinery29.com, by Zoe Ligon from 28th June, which according to her tells you all you need to know about impact play, it's done in the form of a slide show and it's mostly just sensible stuff we all know, the only point I take issue with being Slide 2, I don't like the word hitting and the heading of which asserts that the receiving party, ie the 'bottom', should be in control.



Of course I understand what she's saying and she's most likely aiming at newbies or relative newbies but no no no, Zoe. the very last thing I want is to be in control:)

Ronnie
xx

12 comments:

Fondles said...

Perhaps she could have phrased it better. But it's a good reminder for newcomers that the bottom should be aware that they have the ability to use a safeword in the event of things being taken too far.

Roz said...

Hi Ronnie, interesting article and raises some important points, such as negotiating beforehand, yes today may not be yes tomorrow etc. I agree she could have worded that part better, but I know what she means.

Hugs
Roz

Minelle Labraun said...

Very interesting. I agree that hitting probably isn't a good way to educate and explain.... and yes on the control.... although I'm kinda bossy at times!

Anonymous said...

The bottom in my opinion and especially my wife is not in control. My wife reminds me that she is "spanking" me, not hitting, there is a difference. She knows when the "spanking" should stop, mostly when I'm finally laying motionless across her lap, crying, pleading. She knows and I have learned because of her love for me, the spankings are necessary and being over her lap reminds me who is in control. Really it is each to his/her own. Jack

Our Bottoms Burn said...

Since this same topic is at OBB right, I will ring in and say that for at least two of us the bottom is always in control. That makes us odd man out, but we would not have it any other way.

Rosie Jones said...

This article seems to be aimed at people who want to play, rather than those in a ttwd relationship, but there are still some pertinent points. I don't like the negative 'hit' rather than the more appealing 'spank' either, and I'm definitely not the one in control!
Rosie xx

kdpierre said...

Yes, this is most certainly a how-to for beginners and those seeking to use 'impact' AS 'play'. Nothing wrong with that! Heck, even though we have a serious DD aspect, we also 'play' on occasion as well.

However.....ironically....even while our 'play' sessions have a different flavor or vibe, the actual spanking aspect is still pretty much her call throughout. But then again we've been at this for years, and I've been at it for a lifetime. I was much more inclined to try to control things with other partners back when I was in my late teens and early twenties. Interestingly, my first serious D/s relationship was with a person who very quickly insisted that "a spanking is a spanking" and pretty much trained me to shut up and take whatever she felt inclined to dish out.

In nearly EVERY relationship from that time on, I found the most encouraging thing I could ever do for my female partners was let the Top BE the Top......unless something dangerous was about to occur out of inexperience.....but that is far different from controlling the amount of pain being given.

Hermione said...

I also would think that the Top is in control, but if it's consensual, and there is a safeword,then that is a good thing. Interestign article.

Hugs,
Hermione

Red said...

interesting to read.. a safe word in case of actual danger, but when being spanked the spankee is never in control, at least in my case, and any other people I have read.
bottoms up
Red

ronnie said...

Fondles - I always advise newcomers to have a safeword. Thanks.

Roz - I thought interesting even though I didn't like some of what she was saying. Thanks.

Minelle - Topping from the bottom is not correct young lady:) Thanks.

Jack - Hello. I agree Jack, there is a difference between hitting and spanking.

OBB - I do understand where you are coming from but wouldn't say you are the odd ones out.Thanks.

Rosie - Yes I agree. That's why I think she uses the word hitting (impact play) but I have never liked the word hitting when it's used in the same breath as spanking. Thanks.

KDPierre - Yes let the top be in control in a safe consensual relationship with both parties knowing limits and as I have said a safeword in place. Thanks.

Hermione - Yes I agree as you say only if consensual and both know there is a safeword in place. Thanks.

Red - A safeword is a must no matter how long you have been into spanking. Thanks.

Love,
Ronnie
xx

Terpsichore said...

I agree that the word "hit" seems harsh to me. An interesting article with some good points. Perhaps some different words could have been chosen but some basic ideas important for the beginner. Trying to catch up reading a little this morning... :-) Hugs

ronnie said...

Terps - Yes I think different words could have been used and yes good for newcomers to our lifestyle. Thank you.

Love,
Ronnie
xx