Monday, 6 December 2010

I smacked the waiter's bum

We went out to lunch Saturday and I smacked a waiter's bum, quite a nice one too.

I told you we we planning to visit our SIL and kids on the weekend, they live in the South East and we were touch and go about making the trip because of the bad weather down there, but it improved on the weekend so off we went. Pity the snow had gone because the kids had wanted to take us up on the local common to demonstrate their tobogganing prowess, anyway it didn't happen and we went out for lunch instead. We hadn't been to this place before, it wasn't a restaurant but a so called gastro pub with a sectioned dining area and loads of casual eating space, run by South Africans judging from the accents, really busy for a Saturday lunchtime. The tables were very close together, quite tight, we were a party of nine and they'd had to jiggle about with the tables a bit to get us in. All the waiters, boys and girls, wore T shirts with the pub's logo, black trousers and brown leather aprons, smart and trendy, a bit sexy too I thought.

We were shown to our table and told our waiter would be along with menus and take drinks orders. I sat down and started to take my coat off, silly really should have done it before I sat like everyone else had, I struggled and P looked up in the air as if to say ''there's always one...'', I pulled a face determined to divest myself of the garment still seated, suddenly my left arm came out fast and I caught the waiter serving the next table on his bottom, it would have been a real full smack if my hand had been turned flat but as it was, with the wriggling and twisting I'd been doing it was a half karate chop half smack. He jerked and then he turned and smiled, of course I apologised but was embarrassed, I could feel my face glowing. Our nephews thought it was very funny. After the guy had finished at the table he graciously turned to me, lifted my coat and popped it on a wall peg.

You now what, every time I looked up and he was anywhere near I kept catching his eye and I'm sure he was smiling at me.

I said to P later when we were on our own, '' I'm sure he was one of us.''

''No way,'' said P, ''I reckon he's batting for the wrong team.''

''What do you mean?'' I asked, I genuinely didn't follow.

''He's gay, you could see it a mile off.'' I hastened to add here P's not anti gay, not at all, but he jokes like lots of blokes do.

''Well he had a nice bum and a nice smile anyway.'' I added and stuck my tongue out.

P said yeah, every time he'd looked up to check out one of the waitresses he noticed me eyeing the waiter, he needed to have word with me about that. Ha! Men.

I'll catch you all later or tomorrow as I'm travelling to a funeral.



Michael said...

Morning, Ronnie, very funny story. You made me smile. If the waiter was one of us too bad he did't pick you up instead of your coat, bend you over the table and smack your bottom as he read out the specials to the rest of your party, punctuating each word with a smack to your bum. Now that would have been lunch with a punch. Eat to the beat. A meal you could feel.

Also, sorry to hear you are going to a funeral. :(

PK said...

Beautiful! I'm glad you got a shot at that pretty bum. Tell P to be more opened minded, he could be gay and one of us too! LOL! But I do think P should have something to say about you eying a cute waiter you had just popped.


Katia said...

Great story~

Judy said...

This made me laugh! "I am sure he's one of us"! I enjoy reading your blog!

Florida Dom said...

Ronnie: Love the story. I think you should go back there sometime. LOL.


ronnie said...

Not long been back from my friends funeral. Travel really bad, -6, freezing fog. Not a good day but all your comments have cheered me up. Thanks for that.
Judy - hello, thank you so much..
Michael - thanks for the smile.
PK - I will
Katia - Thanks.
FD - I might just have to :)

Love to you all.


Anonymous said...

I wonder how things would have turned out if your husband hand accidentally swatted a waitress--"gee, I'm sorry, I was just taking off my jacket." "Right, sure..."

Hermione said...

An accident? Sure, I believe you; thousands wouldn't.

I'm glad you enjoyed an exciting lunch!


Daisychain said...

Reminded me of a song....
"Only YOU......." Only you could get yourself into a scrape like that and carry it off so well!!!!
Heehee, wish I had been there... AND, WHY WASN'T I? South east, thats ME... you didn't tell me you were in my neck of the woods! xxxxxx

ronnie said...

Hermione - I can assure you I don't go around smacking waiter's bottoms, honest. He did have rather a cute one tough :)

Daisy - Anybody would think I get myself into trouble at lot :) Oh Daisy, I'll remember next time were down that way.

Thanks both.

Enjoy the rest of the week.


Raven Red said...

This really did put a smile on my face Ronnie!
Run by South Africans? Must have been excellent service then (wink)..and eh, I hasten to add, that I do NOT have an accent. Okay, maybe a slight one, but I do NOT say three as free, or piece as peas, and as for beach...well..
As for your little eh accidental smack, I have to add it was a well aimed accident, seeing that the receiving party (gay or not)had a bottom that could be appreciated. You go girl!


ronnie said...

Raven Red - Hello there. We have a few South African friends and your right service was excellent very efficient :)

The waiter did have rather a cute behind.

Thanks for stopping by, appreciate it.