I got one of my periodic emails from Equestrian Clearance the other day,
they've got a sale on jodhpurs and breeches (they also do excellent riding crops by the way and for a fraction of what sex shops charge). I have a little thing about riding, tight fitting jodhpurs, ahem whips and things.... pause for blush..... and the email rekindled it.
I decided to order another pair and I decided I needed to be spanked in a pair. Urgently.
Well first things first, so I browsed the range on offer, sidetracked over to the whips and crops where there didn't seem to be anything new (I suppose there's only so much you can update with those things I mean they've been serving their purpose for centuries, perhaps that's one of the reasons I like them), went back to the jodhpurs ummed and arred a bit and then settled on a stone coloured pair which I ordered.
I told P later that I'd ordered a new pair, perhaps I expected him to share my excitement, I shouldn't have, I know my husband.
"You've already got some, you don't need more," was his comment.
"I can send them back if you don't like them." I was a little deflated by his disinterest and I had no intention of sending back anyway but wanted to draw further comment.
"What's to like, I don't wear them you do, and then not very often and when you do it's only to get your arse spanked." Ooh P what brutal honesty, I thought, lovely.
"Well there are different types you know, and colours and fabrics, they've got two-tone, chequered, all sorts, they do them for men too." I quite fancy a D'Arcy type thrashing me masterfully, I didn't tell him that of course.
"When I take up horse riding I'll refer to you for advice then," he said. "Meanwhile the only consideration I have for jodhpurs would be that for the purpose to which you put them, the construction is all wrong. The seated inset in them is too thick, I assume it's to withstand the friction wear better against the saddle, but in your case it would be much better if the seat was thinner...in fact very thin." And off he went, I hadn't exactly stirred his passion but at least I knew he was on the same wavelength about the jodhpurs' use or misuse.
A good point about the seat too, P, but goodness, surely if it was thinner it would sting more:)