It's what my husband asked me yesterday.
He was reading the Sunday Times (again) and at the bottom of the Editorial column was the little snippet I've inserted, about men giving compliments and women taking them quite the wrong way.
I said I couldn't remember the last time he'd told me I looked curvy or figure hugging and asked him why he wanted to know. He explained and I said the only thing I could recently remember him saying that could be construed as remotely complimentary was when he told me my bum looked nice after he'd spanked me. Well he would say that wouldn't he.
But then I thought a bit more and he sometimes tells me my jeans fit well, or I look smart in a particular skirt and I started to wonder what's he really saying, so I asked him if he was really saying I looked fat. No, he said, really, just telling the truth about how I like to see you, filling your clothes properly. Hmmm I thought about that, not quite a clear answer, I think there might be something in the research after all.
So from now on I'm going to be listening out. I half wish he hadn't drawn the snippet to my attention now....so I'm sharing it with you, a problem shared and all that:)
Have a good week.
Ronnie
xx
24 comments:
The occasional comment to me...but (sadly) getting dressed up to go out is a rather rare affair at the moment.But what drives me crazy is that when we are out and about P never ceases to comment how so many folk in the UK are overweight.He hisses it loudly everywhere we go !Sarah,LD,UK
Sarah - He's right though, isn't he? Thanks.
Love,
Ronnie
xx
Nick doesn't use many compliments. We both know I'm overweight, it's not a secret. But he hugs me, and pops me on the butt and grabs my breast when we are working in the confines of the kitchen and those things work as compliments for me.
Hugs,
PK
Ronnie,
I believe we are too fixated as a society on size; a woman's personality and charm are much more important. I may comment on someone's beautiful eyes or hair, or clothes but I totally avoid comments about physical attributes that refer to size unless someone has lost weight.
I really believe that it is important to encourage people when they are trying to reduce weight for health reasons. In the past year, my wife lost 30 lbs and I encouraged her and complimented her especially when she became discouraged.
And, I reminded her constantly that I love her for who she is not her size.
That is just my opinion.
Hug,
joey
I can't help wondering if the whole article was meant to be humorous and not taken seriously. After all, the survey was done by a dental implant company:)
The closing sentence about bears sh***ing in the woods is a giveaway.
Hugs,
Hermione
I think it was meant to be funny, too.
Speaking as "the guy" I don't like having to watch my words so closely. If I say I like something, that's what I mean.
Most men prefer curvy to rail thin. I am sure he is complimenting you and not hedging his comments.
PK - I like those compliments:) Thanks
Joey - Your wife is a very lucky lady. Thank you and I'm looking forward to reading your story.
Hermione - Yes Hermione I think it was a tongue in cheek article. Thanks.
Mick - Hello. I do like people who say what they mean but say - if your wife had her hair cut and you didn't like it. Would tell her exactly that? Cheers Mick.
SG - I do know that really or at least I think I do:) Thanks.
Love,
Ronnie
xx
Yes, I'd tell her. And I HATE it if she cuts her hair.
I'd also tell her if an outfit didn't look good on her because she's so beautiful she shouldn't wear things that take away from that.
my take is that it was tongue in cheek.. mostly... men are damned if we do and damned if we don't..Best simply to say you look great, and I love you.. then offer chocolate (San Francisco has great Ghiradelli ) and a chilled glass of wine...
The photos you have posted should a very lovely lassie...(that's Scottish.. don't confuse it with the dog Lassie)
love
Red
Ronnie,
Omega doesn't often hand compliments out...but now after reading this mouse wonders if some don't simply fly under her radar.
It seems mouse will start paying more attention.
Hugs,
mouse
Well, yes, he's right.And I'll take it as a roundabout positive reflection on me...he's so fixated he'd let me know if things were 'amiss'...pronto Sarah,LD,UK
an age old dilemma for men huh - how to compliment an woman. I think so long as its genuine and loving, its all good. I know if my Sir tells me I'm looking a little too much on the + side then its not meant to hurt me in any way, its meant to encouarge me to be healthier. And he always always always says it with something nice and sexy too :)
It's call a catch twenty two. Dam if you do, damn if you don't... I was driving by a vendor selling flowers on a corner. They looked so pretty, I thought I would buy some for ML. When I got home and handed them to her, she said what did you do now? That was over twenty years ago, and I haven't bothered to buy anymore flowers for her. And no, I'm not stubborn, just a good memory... lol ...
Sarah - I think you'd know if your weight was going up. P likes to give a little incentive to help loose a few pounds when needed:) Thanks Sarah.
Love,
Ronnie
xx
Mick - I do and I don't like to be told if something doesn't suit me, if you know what I mean. Your wife is a very lucky lady and you a lucky man. Thanks.
Red - Any reason why a Scottish lassie Red? Thanks.
Mouse - And I'm sure they are lovely compliments. Thank you Mouse.
KG - Yes your right, as long as it's done lovingly. P's going to give me a little incentive to help me with the weight I've just put on)
1MV - Maybe it's time you bought a bunch again. Thanks 1MW.
Love,
Ronnie
xx
Ronnie: I was just having fun, as using lassie (woman) or laddie (man) for young woman or man. When I see pictures of you posted, you look like a fun loving lassie.
love
Red
Wonder if you can study paying a woman compliments at Uni these days? It is certainly a tricky business. Not sure it would help :D
If I want to hear the absolute truth about how I look in an outfit I ask my daughters. They don't pull any punches and if they say I look good in an outfit I believe them.
Daddy is so blinded by love I could wear a gunnysack and he'd say I was beautiful;).
Love,
Kitty
I giggled all the way through that article! Yes, it was a spoof, and a very funny one, and yes, women are always sure they are "fat" but the men don't usually agree or care! They love us for being us; aren't we lucky?
And, just for the record, Ronnie, you have put the odd photo in your blog of your backside, and it is amazing! You have a great figure! xxxxxxxx
Red - I like to think I am:) Thanks.
Wordsmith - Hello. Makes me wonder what the course would be called. Thanks Wordsmith.
Kitty - I'm sure you look beautiful in anything you wear Kitty. Sometimes I ask our son about a particular outfit after I've asked P:) Thank you Kitty.
Daisy - How lovely of you to say but in my opinion not since I've put weight on. P said I need some incentive to loose a little and I know the type of incentive he means:) Thanks Daisyy. Hope all's well with you.
Love,
Ronnie
xx
I tend to take whatever a man says at face values. They rarely have layers of overtones like women do when saying something.
Lea - Yep, I think your right there. Thanks Lea.
Love,
Ronnie
xx
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