Chocolate Willies

Imagine my delight shock when I opened my email this morning! One of my vanilla friends sent it to me with this article, she knows I have a weakness for chocolate, no, not what some of you may have been thinking.

The credit crunch appears to be having little impact on sales of saucy confectionery products, says (Worcestershire based) online mail order firm, The Rude Chocolate Company which has reported a rapid pick-up in sales worldwide.

With a range of novelty chocolates made from the finest Belgian chocolate, including the risqué Rude Chocolate Willy, Kama Sutra line, Rude Boobs and Nipples, chocolate-lovers are ensuring a mouthwatering future for the newly-launched firm. “Rude Chocolates are lovingly-made here in the UK , but are now enjoying a truly global appeal,” said Managing Director, Oliver Craddock. “We’re bucking the current economic trend and just about keeping up with demand. Orders are coming thick and fast from as far afield as Russia and South Africa , the US and Japan with people looking for high quality gift ideas with a difference.

The Rude Chocolate Company continues to innovate, not just with more products being added to the existing range in 2009, but the launch of Rude Chocolate Parties soon to be rolling out across the country. “We have a number of new Rude Chocolates under wraps, but they are sure to tickle the taste buds of everyone who tries them,” added Oliver Craddock.

Just looking at them makes you want to munch (the chocolate you understand).

Ronnie

xx

Paying the rent

Britain's Stately homes and castles are turning to upper crust sex orgies and S&M parties to help pay the bills, according to the Sunday Times.

Apparently they are offering their homes for film shoots, well heeled city boy parties, kinky fancy dress do's for the elite and dungeon breaks costing guests up to £3,000 which include all the latest S&M gear and they even throw in a professional dungeon mistress.

Demand is high throughout the year and although owners maintain their main trade is upper crust weddings they have no problem with them coexisting with couples downstairs trying out the latest in shackles, stretching racks, whipping posts and appendage clamps.

However not all owners are told the whole truth and one wealthy estate agent who was under the impression his grade I listed home had been rented out for a posh party returned unexpectedly to find his drive full of Porches, BMW's and Aston Martins, and over 300 revellers in full swing. Despite noting the long cloaks and masks he thought not too much of it until at the stroke of midnight topless dancers appeared, masks and cloaks hit the floor and party goers stripped to leather pants, corsets and suspenders and started having sex over the banisters and under the chandeliers.

Such goings on, eh. Never been invited to one myself, sounds fun though.

Ronnie

xx

Got my own magazine

My heart nearly stopped, skipped a beat at least. I was walking down the corridor to our offices when I spotted a pile of magazines placed on a table with some floral decorations, the mags were entitled 'Heart & Soul'! OMG have I been uncovered...... 'author of Heart & Soul kink Internet website works here...read all about her other secret life.....' etc etc, so this is how it all ends.

But no, on closer examination the mags are full of good causes to help old people, some charitable organisation has obviously left them out for people to help themselves. Phew! So 5 minutes later, after I'd opened the office cleared the answer machine and put the kettle on for a cup of tea, I snukt back out into the corridor with my nokia and snapped them, took one back in with me too, some interesting articles which I'll pass on to P's mom.

Not a single reference to spanking :)

Ronnie

xx

Six of the best

Best things come in Sixes.

So said P when I showed him this picture.

''You used to have more or less a six-pack, when you were fit'' I told him with a twinkle in my eye. He agreed with a smile and told me it's still there but better camouflaged these days, anyway not to be so cheeky, other things come in sixes, like six of the best. Ooh enough said.

Ronnie

xx

Flushed

Two weekends two spankings, both unexpected, I'll be on tenterhooks to see if he makes it three in a row towards the end of this week. Anyway I'm not counting my chickens, I'll tell you about what happened not what might.

Friday evening P's mother called and asked if he'd mind taking her to the supermarket on Saturday and could he wait and drop her back off home because she needed quite a bit of shopping to do, she had some visitors coming unexpectedly and staying over. P of course said yes but would have to do it early as he had to meet someone later in the morning which was true.

He asked me if I could do it but I declined saying I needed to catch up on some laundry which was also true but hardly urgent. Truth was I didn't want to get dragged into a supermarket shopping excursion with his mom, he always manages to cut it short as she knows his tolerance level for grocery shopping is low, but another woman is expected to show some interest in picking this and that from the shelves and chillers. Anyway no issue was made of it and P went and picked her up just after eight.

He came back about twenty past eight, I said hi what did you forget, he'd left his mom for half an hour or so to fill her trolley and he'd be going back for her after he'd taught me a little lesson for being unhelpful. I hardly had time to object, he took me by the arm made me bend over the back of the settee, I hadn't even showered and was still in my dressing gown, he flipped the gown up to my back and gave me such a walloping I yelped and had to bite on a chunk of cushion to suppress my distress.

Now don't get me wrong this wasn't a punishment, but nor was it erotic, or perhaps it was in its own way, P was perfectly decent humoured, he just felt I needed a little correction which I undoubtedly did, it was shocking and exhilarating and painful. And it left me quite flushed I can tell you when P dashed off to collect his mom with a cheery 'Be a bit more thoughtful next time'.

Ronnie

xx

Photo from Carly, Brambleberry Blush

Flash Fiction Friday - The Wife

He rejected me. I feel stupid, he's so busy, I should have known.

I thought it would please him, I've planned it for days, chores undone, misplaced socks, crumpled shirts, the dress hire shop, fancy dress party I'd lied, and finally the note on the kitchen table detailing my failings, surely I deserved to be punished. But he didn't punish, he asked what was for dinner, said if I was too pushed we'd hire a domestic, said the uniform was nice and sat down with his laptop. I'm upstairs now, he'll come looking for me I know he will, he loves me.

Now pop over to Spanky and Tiggs to read more Flash Fiction stories

Ronnie

xx

Caught with 'his' pants down

I'm not sure what message the marketing guys are trying to convey with this ad.... a pair of men's underpants down to the ankles of a naked body slumped exhausted in a chair, used tissues dropped idly on the floor......

What's your thoughts?

Ronnie

xx

Do not disturb

No culture for me to report on from the weekend press, just a follow up from my post on Friday and it certainly isn't culture. Those who saw my Friday post will know I got spanked Friday morning and made to walk to work, without reason, at least at the time. It was the most unusual start to a Friday, I didn't ask him why when I got to the office (even though I was dying to, it was for him to tell me), just went about my jobs, we were quite busy. Had some shelves delivered, P had to go to a meeting in the afternoon and was out for the evening.

Saturday P asked me to help him move the shelves to our second office (extra space for the new business) which is upstairs, then after he'd got them marked I could go off and he'd fix them. There's nothing in the office yet except a desk, it overlooks the park. I was looking out the window after we'd marked the last shelf, I felt P's breath on my neck and his hands reached under my arms and grabbed my tits ''I suppose you're wondering why I spanked you yesterday'' he said. I told him no, I hadn't wondered at all (liar) and the walk to work had done me good. P let his right hand drop from fondling of my breast and he gave me a couple of sharp slaps to my bum which sounded very loud in the empty room. ''Peter's in working, I saw another light on too,'' I said, ''they'll hear.'' But P had a plan, he went and locked the door, took his drill from his toolbox and set it going on a low buzz. ''Now they won't'' he said, as he came over to the window took me by the arm and steered me towards the empty desk.

''I spanked you yesterday for attitude,'' he said as I was bent compliantly over the desk.

''What attitude?'' I was genuine.

''Thursday night,'' he said, ''the wine, you remember, and you know I couldn't say anything at the time in front of guests.'' By now he'd undone my jeans and his hand was down the front of my knickers, I could feel his bulge pressing from behind and I was getting wet, it was no time for arguing.

''I do remember now, I wanted an extra glass nothing wrong with that,'' I said and pushed my backside into his crotch. I knew what he was getting at, he'd been telling me about my weight and he reckoned wine was about 300 cals per glass but I know he wasn't going to argue either, not with his cock straining as it was.

''Well let it be lesson to you,'' was all he said, he does like to feel he's had the upper hand. Then his fly unzipped and I felt his trousers drop and join my jeans bunching against my ankles, my panties were quickly thumbed down to my thighs and I felt the full extent of his arousal probing between my cheeks, for a moment I thought he was considering a backdoor assault which I wouldn't have allowed in the circumstances, but then he bent me further forward, found my eager wetness and thrust into me with what I could mildly describe as considerable enthusiasm. I love this kind of thing even though I complain about the noise, not being able to clean up and feeling embarrassed when I pass anyone in the corridor afterwards even though I know they can't possibly know what we've been up to. To cut it short P rogered me good and proper, I came before him and then again just as he was filling me which made him pump even harder and left me just gasping for air.

No tissues, no en suite, I had to take my knickers off to mop up before I dripped onto the carpet. When I put my jeans back on P said naughty girl no knickers, you know what that gets you. Oh god don't start me off again. But it didn't happen because the battery on P's drill was running down anyway so our noise cover was blown.

I went back down to our office, didn't see Peter or anyone on the way thank goodness, I popped my knickers in my handbag and switched the kettle on, just time for a cup of tea before I went shopping, make one for P too. I think I may have more attitude attacks, they make me feel rather good

Ronnie
xx

Saddled, Belted, Whipped and Rosy Red

I'm posting this sitting here in my office on an extremely warm backside, twenty five minutes ago I was spanked really unexpectedly and quite hard considering I'd hardly done anything to deserve it, my car's in for service this morning and son took it down to the garage for me, P came back from the office unannounced, took me by the arm upstairs, had me over his knee before I could get a word in and spanked me. Then he said as it was sunny I could walk to the office! well that's OK I can do it in 20 mins and do it by preference some days but hadn't planned on it today so I'm a bit behind with things. Phew, what a start to my Friday. P said he will tell me why later and I'll sure let you know.

Anyway here's today's post........

Things are moving along with my new business venture slowly but surely, slower than I thought actually but that's the way things go, and I've just ordered my last shipment of handbags which should reach us by end September and about three weeks or so after they arrive I'll switch the website on (yeah you think it's just like flicking on a light switch P always tells me when I say that) and start trading. I know there's a lot more to it really but if I thought about it all I'd stop doing it so I like to keep it simple, in my mind at least.

Anyway I thought you might like to hear about some of the styles I chose.

Belted

Whipped

Rosy Red, my favourite colour

The Saddle Bag. Mmm imagine being bent over that.....

Really, these are what they're called, do you think I may have been influenced a tad? Couldn't I have fun adding my kind of pics to go with them, even allude to the alternative images the words conjure up in my marketing splurge, I think I'd better not, P would go ballistic he's put a lot of work into the 'gubbings' as I called them the admin all that nasty html and css and stuff to make all this work, our son has helped too, I wouldn't actually be so frivolous.

BTW I wanted to say a public thank you to Danty and Spanky for the SEO tips, much appreciated particularly as one of the methods we've chosen to drive traffic is a purpose built blog, well why not put some experience to good use.

Ronnie

xx

Underwear, Hot Waitresses and other leading indicators

This has been kindly supplied to me by P, he saw it on some CNN finance pages he was reading and thought it was funny so passed it on.

It is funny, too; according to an article by Yan Q Mui in the Washington Post there is serious economic research which relates likelihood of economic recovery to the sales of men's underpants, that's a new one on the sales of lipstick and women's skirt length and underwear which I've read about before.

But the best one in the (unusual) Economic Indicator charts is the Hot Waitress index, yes its true I couldn't possibly make this up, and these kind of things are read by economists, no wonder the western world economy almost collapsed. Anyway apparently “The hotter the waitresses, the weaker the economy. In flush times, there is a robust market for hotness. Selling everything from condos to premium vodka is enhanced by proximity to pretty young people (of both sexes) …. That leaves more punishing work, like waiting tables, to those with less striking genetic gifts. But not anymore. A waitress at one Lower East Side club described to me what happened there: ‘They slowly let the boys go, then the less attractive girls, and then these hot girls appeared out of nowhere. All in the hope of bringing in more business.'' Hence their conclusion that the hotter the girls the weaker the economy.

I wondered if a Hot Spanking Index might have any bearing on world economic recovery, I mean maybe the severity of the average spanking might reflect on the mood or emotional condition of the deliverer - and receiver - of the spanking and maybe that could be an indicator of good or bad times to come. At least for the spankee if not for the world economy.

Ronnie

xx

Why we have sex

"I have just made an interesting discovery. If you are a women looking for a shag, then reading a book called 'Why Women Have Sex' is the way to do it"....so says journalist Daisy Goodwin in yesterday's Sunday Times Review. The book is written by David Buss and Cindy Meston (Head of 'Women's Orgasm Committee' for the World Health Organisation - yes I could hardly believe it too but it's true).

They interviewed over 1000 women and came up with some interesting and amusing reasons why the fair sex say yes, including to get presents, because they feel sorry for the guy,. it helps their migraines, it gives them a clearer complexion (Joan Crawford), it goes on.

Apparently size matters but more likely the dimension of his wallet than his equipment. One women reported having sex with a guy with a 9" x 3" penis and said "it took some effort to get it in but once it was in it could barely move, one of the least satisfying sexual encounters ever".

Don't know about you guys, I must be in another world as the article didn't fit my profile at all. Maybe I should write to the head of the women's orgasm committee at the W.H.O. and let her know she needs to do more research.

And by the way, does W.H.O. have a men's orgasm committee or should that be ejaculation committee? If not why not?

Ronnie

xx

Flash Fiction Friday

Spanky and Tiggs have come up with a great idea called Flash Fiction Friday. This week's challenge was set by Tiggs. Don't forget to stop by their blogs.

Here's my little Fiction -

No family, neighbours, tourists, trekkers, nobody except us, the birds, insects and the water crashing onto the rocks.....how many times have I been prostrate on the bed with his cane or strap lashing across my bottom wanting to really SHOUT.....or GASP aloud when I've felt him hard against my punished cheeks…or SCREAM in ecstasy when he's entered me. How many times have I dreamed of a log cabin with a waterfall to kill the sound. And now we're here and its just too breathtakingly beautiful neither of us wants to spank or shag.

Ronnie

xx

Things come in Threes

I think that's what they say anyway, I'm not sure if its 'Good things come in threes' or 'Bad things come in threes' or whether the saying is generic. Anyway in this case I guess it would depend which side of the paddle you're on. I know which side I'd rather be.

Ronnie

xx