I asked my husband to help me with this because I only get to experience one aspect of the cane, ie. the receiving end although even from that I think I understand the other side pretty well. This is for newbies and maybe some experienced spankees who haven't tried the cane for whatever reason. Experienced users already know what's what.
The cane has got an undeservedly bad reputation. Nothing wrong with its fearsome perception and there's nothing wrong with it hurting, spanking is supposed to hurt. But it's accidental hurt, which can result from mis-use of an implement, that causes disappointment. The cane, because of its length, whippiness and shape, is harder to control than most other implements and with its extra leverage It can also hurt more from very little effort. So if it does get mis-used by accident the result can be unexpectedly painful. It's plain commonsense to try and avoid this happening.
My husband's advice, summed up simply, is - don't go at it like a bull at a gate; if you do you stand a very good chance of hurting your partner the wrong way and that could put an end to your caning thrills before you've given it a chance. Start slowly and accurately, using short rather than long canes as they are easier to handle. Practise your aim lots of times on a cushion or something soft (not your partner). When you can aim, try it with your partner but take your time and watch your partner's reactions. A warm-up first will help your partner adjust, especially if it's their first time. The cane stings!
My own advice - first, tell your partner to read the above:) Then assure them that you really do want to experience the cane (you do, don't you?) but you don't want to be frightened off by over exuberance in the early days so get a very good understanding between you of what is desirable and what is not.
Being good at caning doesn't mean caning hard. It means knowing how to use the cane to match your partner's preferences as well as your own. It could include caning hard, and probably will given time and if that is what both parties want, but it doesn't go without saying. No-one should receive a hard caning from someone who doesn't know what they're doing and I don't say that disrespectfully. It's just that the cane is harder to control than most implements so learn to use it effectively to get the best out if it for both sides.
I think the main reason the cane gets those 'never again' vows is that the caner has not had enough experience in using it, especially if its their partner's first time. It is very easy to get off on the wrong foot, ending prematurely what might have become a beautiful friendship:). Spankings should hurt but not disproportionately to the circumstances and the wishes of the participants. Great responsibility lies with the caner to do their best to get it right, it isn't just a case of picking up a cane, saying bend over and swishing away. Experienced caners already know that but beginners may not so they should read, learn and practise.
So my tips on caning:-
1. Start off modestly, with a small or medium size cane. Short are easier to control than long.
2. Practise with it on a cushion or padded sofa arm. Watch where the lines appear - can you hit the same line again, or go left or right of it at will? If you can't keep practising.
3. Remember the 'business' part of the cane is usually the 20% or so near the tip.
4. If you think by landing the centre of the cane evenly across your partner's bottom the pain will be even - think again!
5. If you are right handed and you cane as per 4 above, and you stand to the left of your partner, I guarantee you will over cook your partner's right buttock.You may also get some wrapping from the tip.
6. The solution to 4 and 5 is to either switch sides periodically or learn to cane with more accuracy so that you can even up the buttock nearest to you.
7. Bending over is the traditional position but it is not the best for caner accuracy, particularly beginners. Laying flat, perhaps on the bed, is much easier for accuracy.
8. Start slowly, don't go at it like a bull at a gate. Forget images of Tom Brown's Schooldays.
9. Don't swing your whole arm, try just wrist action first and keep the strokes short until you've gained accuracy
10. Gauge your partner's reaction as you go along.
11. Don't cane outside of safe areas. I mean safe areas on the bottom not safe areas geographically.
12. Get honest feedback afterwards. The better you become at caning the better the experience will be for both parties.
13. Share the experience. At least once, a caner should get to know what the business end of the cane feels like.
14. Before you buy a cane, try one from the garden or a garden store. It won't be koobo and will probably be quite rigid, it may also be brittle so be careful. But it will at least give you some idea what it feels like and at a nil or very low cost.
Why go to all the trouble? Well, if a job's worth doing it's worth doing well and a cane used well can add a different zing your spanking repertoire. It has a unique sting, sound and reputation and can leave wonderful red lines, with or without welts depending on the user's intentions. They can last a few minutes or a few hours, either disappearing or turning to bruises which may last days. Or you might just get off with a reddened bottom and a feeling that you might just have liked a bit more. The cane is very versatile, it doesn't have to be vicious, it doesn't have to break the skin (in my opinion it never should) and it gets better the more it's used because the user gets better.
Links - I've added two below, both of them are attached to commercial interests, both of them contain good stuff and also some stuff I wouldn't necessarily agree with but everyone (including me) has their own tastes. They are both worth a read anyway and there's plenty more information out there on the internet as well as countless stories which often inadvertently provide knowledge which you can draw from and be entertained at the same time!
Happy safe caning,
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