Monday, 28 July 2014

Spanking new film, same old nonsense

Comment on the Fifty Shades trailer by Matt Rudd in yesterday's Sunday Times, not favourable, but didn't really expect it to be.

Within 24 hours of its release on YouTube, more than 7m perverts — sorry, film buffs — had watched the first trailer for Fifty Shades of Grey, and most of them would have been disappointed.
No spanking. No handcuffs. Just two minutes of Twilight-style romancing, face-palm dialogue and a random helicopter, all set to Beyoncé croaking Crazy For You. It has put me off cheese for the whole weekend.
What did you expect though? You’ve read the book. It’s got philosophy: “Why is anyone the way they are? That’s kind of hard to answer. Why do some people like cheese and other people hate it? Do you like cheese?”
It’s got wit: “Some boy scout he must have been to learn these knots.”
It’s got alarming medical issues: “My insides practically contort with potent, needy, liquid desire.” But it’s about as erotic as a Tupperware party (which, to be clear, people of Wolverhampton, is not erotic at all).
The unreadable book was always going to make an unwatchable film. One star.

Chross has the trailer if you haven't seen it.

Anyone considering going to see the film?
Have a good week.


bobbsroom said...


Not me

Have a good week yourself


Erica said...

Nope. I watched the trailer, and it was as stupid as I figured it would be. The tsunami created in the blogosphere over the trailer is far more entertaining! :-D

Cat said...

Not me...wasn't impressed with the books...can't really see being impressed with a movie based on them. ;)

Hugs and Blessings...

Roz said...

I am definitely intrigued to see the film, but am dubious as to how it will measure up.


Florida Dom said...

I am not expecting much from the film, but will watch it if it is on HBO. What I found interesting was the controversey over the rather tame trailer preview. The controversy shows that any hint of BDSM in popular culture is still a taboo.


Hermione said...

The review made me think of the Monty Python cheese shop sketch.

the trailer was pretty awful; we won't be going to see the movie.


PK said...

I'm not against seeing it, but I'm guessing some of my friends here go to the movies more than I do. I think I'll wait and hear what fellow spankos have to say about it. It they say it's okay, I'll go - if it really makes them mad I'll skip it.

Eva said...

I think I wanna see it but probably not until I can watch it at home.

Leigh Smith said...

I will definitely want to see because I want to see how it is handled.

Minelle Labraun said...

Not sure because it may stir up feelings of unrest in me. If they make it into a physiological analysis of what's wrong with 'people' who do this sort of thing!

Lillyanna Rose said...

I enjoyed the books and plan to see the movie:)

ronnie said...

Bob - Me neither. Thank you.

Erica - The trailer was enough. I pass when I see FSOG mentioned. Thanks.

Cat - I haven't even read the book. Thank you.

Roz - I think a waste of money and a couple of hours of my time but that's my opinion. Thanks.

FD - That was the first comment I read about the trailer. Thank you.

Hermione - was pretty awful. I remember the cheese sketch:) Thank you.

PK - That makes sense. Thanks.

Eva - Probably be a long while before shown on TV. Thanks.

SG - Think it will be totally unwatchable. Thanks

Minelle - Be interested to read what any of our community think of it. Not sure when its out.


ronnie said...

LR - Hello. I've not read any of the books and wouldn't want to see the film. Thank you.


sub hub in phx said...

Probably will see it. Mistress has already expressed an interest in going mostly because she thinks it will be fun to watch the general public wade into the idea of power-exchange sex. I agree ..... it will be incredible fun to watch how people dance around the subject itself as they reveal their in the topic in general. Already, the vanilla's in my life have begun twitch with nervous excited at the mere prospect of the movie coming out.

Should be fun to watch the people that watch more than the movie itself.

Michael M said...

I doubt it. My wife started the book and put it down after saying she knew most of it backwards after 30 years of sex. Good marketing but nothing else. Better off reading your blog for spanking sex.

an English Rose said...

Hi Ronnie, yes I want to see it, will drag him too!
love Jan,xx

1ManView said...

I couldn't finish the book, glad it was a free read. " I will not watch the movie". I doubt I will give it the time to watch it once it comes to the TV. I saw the author live on a talk show before I read the book. I knew the book was going to be bad, she was as erotic in person as a virgin girl wearing pig tails. She was clueless. She might be good in research, but I bet you she's as frigid as the North Pole in the bed... :)

I said my piece.. hehe
peace and love always

Red said...

That was one excellent review. What a great sense of humor. No, I will not be going to see the movie.
bottoms up

Autumn said...

I will probably go and see it--although, I have very low expectations. I guess I just want to see how the vanilla world does BDSM. I also want a good laugh--already had one over the trailer!

ronnie said...

1MV - :) I started watching the interview but turned it off. She had no idea. Thanks.

Red - I like Matt Rudd writing most of the time, he has a good sense of humour. Thank you.

Autumn - If I went it would only be to see people watching the move to see what their reaction would be. Thanks.


Chross said...

Well, I´m going to see it, of course!
While there probably is a lot not to like about the books, you might not underestimate the effort put into it by the industry.
A book probably can´t be that lousy that a talented screen writer might not turn into into a passable movie. So there´s still hope!
The main factor to my mind is that the producers/director are bold enough to not try and create a 100 % tame and glossy mainstream movie (like what happened to 9 1/2 weeks). Because in this case the audience really really wants to see the raunchy stuff.

So, we´ll have to wait and see I guess.

And as for the mentally twisted spanker being a problem - well, in "Secretary" it was the spankee and still this movie has been a breakthrough for BDSM and spanking to the mainstream market. And noone talks about her mental problems when discussing Secretary, really.


ronnie said...

Chros hi,

I haven't read any of the books so probably shouldn't judge but hearing/reading about the books I really can't see it being even a passable movie. I agree I do think they really want to see the raunchy bits. I know most of my ladies friends do. As you say we'll see. Be interested in reading the reviews from people in the community. Thanks.


Katie said...

Hi Ronnie, :) I enjoyed all three of the books. They were a catalyst that took me from nice catholic girl to opening my horizon up to some pretty wonderful new things. They weren't perfect, but I really liked the stories. I guess that I am easy to please.

No matter what, they led me to think about being submissive, and look up spanking on the web. That led me to the land, thinking and big changes in my marriage. I will always be eternally grateful and hold a special place in my heart for 50 SOG! I am looking forward to seeing the movie. And yeah- I'll probably drag Rob along. LOL! Movies are never as good as the books. In this case, I really don't know how they will be able to handle the material with the ratings and all... Many hugs,

<3 Katie