Friday, 4 October 2013

Does This Dress Make Me Look Fat?

"Does this dress make me look fat?"


"No? You're just saying that, aren't you." She frowned at his reflection in the long mirror.


"You're trying to spare my feelings. Admit it."

"No I'm not."

"Oh. So you don't care if you hurt my feelings," she sniffed.

"Yes. Yes, of course I do," he said tetchily.

"I'm going to ask you again. Does this dress make me look fat?"

"No. Well ... not really."

"What?! What do you mean by that?"

"Not really fat. You're not really fat - just ..." he fought for the right words. "Just pleasantly plump."

"No!" She was horrified. "Pleasantly plump? Pleasantly fucking PLUMP?!"

"So? What's wrong with that?"

"It's the same as being FAT!" she wailed. "You just called me a fat blob."

"I did not."

"You did too! I'm not going to forgive you for this. Ever." Her lower lip trembled.

"Stop putting words into my mouth. I didn't say you were a fat blob."

"You did."

"I did not."

"As near as damn it! That's what you meant."

"Sheesh. I can't bloody win."

The sales assistant hurried towards the fitting room. "Is everything ok? Can I help?"

"It seems I need this dress in a big fat blob size."

"Oh." The assistant hid a smile.

"Ignore my wife. She's a drama queen. In fact, I'm not going to take any more of this silliness. Penelope, if you DARE say another word about being fat, I'll tan your bare bottom and I don't care who sees me do it."

"Godfrey! How DARE you say such a vile thing. How dare you! I'm divorcing you this very instant. You perverted, selfish, mean, nasty bastard."

"It's what you need, woman. A bloody good thrashing would make a proper wife out of you."

"Enough. I'm never going to speak to you again. You'll be hearing from Daddy's solicitor tomorrow."

"Huh!" Godfrey rolled his eyes. "Anyone would think you didn't want a good spanking."

"Never!" spat his wife.

"I'd like one," said the sales assistant.



"Yes please. I'd really, really like a good spanking. Bare bottom - I want a proper one." She looked at Godfrey hopefully.

"Happy to oblige," beamed Godfrey. He sat down on the sofa in the fitting room. "Get over my knee my dear. I'll give you a proper one."

He did too. He raised her skirt and pulled down her knickers and spanked her bare bottom. He spanked and spanked till it wobbled like a jelly and turned bright pink. And then he spanked it some more. The sales assistant shrieked and kicked her legs. She kicked so hard her knickers flew through the air.

"I say. What's going on in there?" A middle aged woman peered through the gap in the changing room curtain. "Oh my! Me next!" She went inside and began to undress.

"Oh - I'll have some of that!" said a young blonde. "I'd love a bloody good spanking."

"I detest spankings, but the after effects are divine," said another shopper.

"Is there a queue?"

"Is it a special promotion?"

"Hurry up! We want a turn."

And very soon, there was a very long queue of ladies waiting for a bare bottom spanking. Godfrey was in heaven! All those bare bottoms! He had not been so excited for years.

It wasn't long before Penelope realised what she had been missing out on. She decided not to divorce Godfrey after all. She opted for regular bare bottom spankings instead.

by flopsybunny/Lucy Appleby.

Thanks Lucy. Make sure you stop Lucy's blog as she has some great stories and a couple of new books out.

Have a fun weekend.




sunnygirl said...

Fun story. I love her stories.

Anonymous said...

Wonder if the service at John Lewis would extend to such things ! Sarah,LD,UK

Roz said...

What a great, fun story, I enjoyed this. What heaven for a top!

"Does this dress make my bum look fat", the one question guaranteed to make any man queasy LoL

Thanks Lucy and Ronnie :)


MrJ said...

Customer-oriented store!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the story Ronnie and Lucy I laughed all the way thru it.

DelFonte said...

Great story!
Thinking of fitting rooms, I have visions of those little numbered disks they hand out... perhaps they could be useful for the number of spanks?

garyntboy said...

That dreaded question...Guaranteed to get a chap into trouble. Nice twist though, thank you.
Kind regards,

Elis said...

I'll shop where they're shopping! Great story, thank Lucy.

Hermione said...

I wish I knew how Lucy comes up with all those zany ideas. She should bottle it and make a mint!


foothills1981 said...

Reminds me of this: "You must give us all a good spanking!" Too bad Sir Galahad gets whisked away...

Anonymous said...

Nice story.

ronnie said...

SG - So do I. Lucy is so generous with her stories. Thanks.

Sarah - I'm in there Saturday. I ask:) Thanks.

Roz - I'd never ask P that question now. Thank you.

Mr.J. - Indeed. Thanks.

Archedone - Me too. Cheers.

DelFonte - Never thought of that but yes except they only go up to 4 or 5. Thanks.

Gary - I liked the ending. Thanks.

Elis - Would be a fun store. Thanks.

Hermione - I wish I could write like Lucy. Thanks.

Foothills1981 - Ah a Monty Phthon fan. Don't think I remember that one so thanks for the link. Will take a look when no prying eyes around.

Joey - Yes it was. Cheers.


Ami Starsong said...

My first thought was that Penelope must've been in one of the fitting rooms in Marks and Spencers! If ever you want convincing to go on a diet - they are the place to go!

I loved the twist to the story - thank you Lucy! Such a good laugh I read it out to Dan who immediately developed a smug look.

Hope you had a good holiday Ronnie!



an English Rose said...

Oh god this brought back memories. When my son was tiny , when I said I was fat he used to snuggle up and say I was pleasingly plump!!
lovely story
love Jan.xx

Minelle Labraun said...

Unfortunately I do do this to my Scotsman. He either swats or gets that SAVE ME look! I think Lucy's stories are great.

ronnie said...

Ami - I know what you mean. Holiday was perfect, thanks for asking. Hope all's well with you and yours.

Jan - Ah, lovely of him. Thank you.

Minelle - I never say it to P now. Thanks.


Daisychain said...

My ex (note, EX!) husbands reply to "Does this dress make my bum look fat?"

"No, your bum makes your bum look fat, because it is."

Red said...

fun to read, and fantasize. I know you would eagerly join the queue.
bottoms up

ronnie said...

Saiusy - What a pig he must have been. Thanks.

Red - I'd be at the front:) Thanks.


Terpsichore said...

very fun :-)

Terpsichore said...

very fun :-)

Lea said...

Love the story. :-) And one should never ever ask a man if they look fat.