Wednesday, 5 June 2013

Bottoms Up

My weekly review of a least favourite implement, as expressed by readers.

Kiwigirl writes.....

The first one is the notorious white tail that I have mentioned a few times on the blog.  It is a home made implement.  It is a garden rod (I think its made of delrin or something very similar) and it is folded in two and taped at the top to make a handle.  Plainly speaking it hurts.  Sir only needs to threaten to use it and the tears can start.  It certainly makes me do as I am told.  Sir keeps it back for the worst punishable offences.  Needless to say its not used very often (although I came very close to it being used last night...more about that later).  It has no give in it so when it meets its target its like "whack" very sharp very stingy and bitey.  And even the lightest touch stings like crazy.  I have had ten in a row with it, once, about a year ago now.  That was because I hadn't done my exercises.    And Sir had to pin me down.  Since then its only been used for once or twice with just one or two swipes at the end of a punishment.  I have to admit it does make a good reminder to be good.  It is the one implement I find very difficult to cope with.  I think I could go so far as to say I'm scared of it.

The second implement is the newest in our collection.  Its the Delrin Rug Beater from Caneiac.  

And my advice to all spankees -DONT LET YOUR SPANKER GET ONE.  

Its pretty much like two tails for me.  It looks fairly harmless.  Its quite bendy and flexible.  Its light, small and can be used very quickly in that flicky left to right motion that spankers sometimes like to use.  Boy oh boy does it sting.  Unfortunately I misbehaved last night and I was on the receiving end of two or three swipes with this at the end of the punishment (thankfully instead of whitetail but its not far away from how I feel about whitetail).   Sir uses it with me OTB...but its small and light enough to be easily used OTK.  It's the type of implement that, if you cry easily (as I do), makes you have those big sobs where you cant catch your breath, you know the ones I mean?  And the sting takes a while to wear off.  I suppose you could say its another good one to finish off with as a REAL GOOD reminder to behave.  Perhaps an implement to be used for only the more serious infractions.  Or perhaps those infractions that reoccur over and over.  But ssshh I'm not giving any tops any ideas here.  Caneiac in their wisdom sent a packet of tissues with it in the parcel...

good call caneiac...the tears come quickly with this evil implement!

So there you have it Ronnie, my two least favourite implements.  Two to avoid at all costs.

KG sent me her review a few weeks ago.

Thanks, KG and thank you for suggesting I do a Bottoms Up reviews. 

Don't forget, if any bottoms, male or female who would like to do a review of their LEAST favourite implement (you don't have to have a blog) and why, please email me at I'll keep it secret if it's just for me but if it's OK for me to post it please say so. Pictures are always good.

See you next week for another Bottoms Up.



Let me know if the first picture is yours so I can credit.


Anonymous said...
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Michael M said...

Looks like a mean instrument which will leave its heart-shaped marks very nicely.

Anonymous said...

Interesting...always liked the concept of a carpet beater but the ones I've seen have looked really unwieldy and not fit for purpose.More inclined to be hung up on a wall as a nice decoration !

Will def be keeping this one to myself though.


bobbsroom said...

Very good review Kiwigirl
let’s hope you stay a good girl and white tail does not come out very often.
Sometimes I find every day house hold implements that can be easily adapted make very stingy and useful deterrents that complements everything else in my little red bag.

Hello Ronnie, enjoy the rest of the week.

Roz said...

Thank you Ronnie for another Bottoms up.

Thanks Kiwi for a great review. I have read about these implements on your blog and all I can say is Ouch! The look positively evil!

We have a garden rod/cane that Rick unfortunately seems to love using!


Ami Starsong said...

Ouch, ouch and more ouch! Better you than me! But a good deterrent, so if it works....

I was only once threatened with our old-fashioned cane carpet beater that hangs in the kitchen and I use for rugs. The thought terrified me so much I was good for ages!



Anonymous said...

Thank you Kiwi for an excellent review. I bet that plastic carpet beater is nasty.

Thanks Ronnie,


PK said...

I have to say that those two implements sound terrible, kinda like a cane on steroids!


Katie said...

Thanks, but no thanks, Kiwi! Great review of something to avoid at all costs! Be good! Be very good!!!

Thank you, Ronnie. :). It is always interesting to read about the different bottom burners that people use. I hope that Rob never reads here though! Hugs!

<3 Katie

sunnygirl said...

Thanks for the review Kiwi and Ronnie. Sounds like implement to stay away from at all costs.

ronnie said...

Michael - I think its looks pretty but wouldn't like it used on me. Cheers.

Sarah - You can have my CB. Didn't work for us. Thanks/

Bob - We know those type of house hold implements and us bottoms don't like them:) Cheers.

Roz - I would think the cane hurts more than the cane, wouldn't you. Thanks.

Ami - I just didn't get on with the CB:) didn't work for me and P didn't like using it but some say its a bad implement. Thank you.

Joey - Yes, plastic worse than wood I think. Cheers.

PK - I'm surprised, I only had 4 who said the cane was their most hated. Thought it would have been more.

Katie - The hairbrush has been the most hated implement from the series. Thanks.

SG - Both implements:) Thanks.


an English Rose said...

Oh Gosh Kiwi, poor you, I couldn't stand either of those. I would be good forever
Love Jan.xx

Hermione said...

That carpet beater is on of my least favourites too. Their rattan one isn't as severe; I'd recommend it to start with.


Princess said...


Minelle Labraun said...

Never, ever, ever will I want to use that one! LOL

ronnie said...

ER - Think I would be as well:) Thank you.

Hermione - Rattan, really. I'll have to take a look. Thanks.

Princess - Exactly. Thank you.

Minelle - Me neither:) Thanks.


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Kenzie said...

Thanks Ronnie, and Kiwi - this was an interesting one to read. :)

Anonymous said...

The carpet beater is widely used in Europe - and (here, in the US), I like to use it once in a while - thus far, only in private (well, not quite: I have used it twice under the eyes of my sister :-)

I like the way it sounds on his bare backside - but even more the way it makes him dance as I use it!

kiwigirliegirl said...

thanks Ronnie for posting my review - i only hope it serves to warn my fellow spankees to NOT invest in a rug beater LOL...i decidedly DO NOT LIKE it one little bit. (Actually, to be honest, the only position i can take it in is otk - some how he doesnt have as much power behind the spanks otk as any other position).
White tail - *shudder* is all i have to say about that!
Glad you all liked it.
Thanks again Ronnie - its been a great series.

ronnie said...

Kenzie - Thanks for stopping by.

Anon - Hello. We used the carpet beater but had no effect on me, P didn't like using it. It is quite large so maybe that's why. Thanks.

KG - NO, thank you, a super review and thanks to you a lot of bottoms will be making sure the carpet beater and rod doesn't appear in their toy box:) Thanks again.