Monday, 27 May 2013

Lady Lumps

........as the Sunday Times called it, or cellulite as more commonly known to you and me.


I was reading the article by Lois Rogers yesterday and was horrified:) and relieved to find out that the dreaded orange-peel effect of pitted fat affects 8 out of 10 women (it hardly affects men by the way). Horrified that it affects so many but relieved I'm not the only one, there's strength in numbers, right? So I've admitted I've got some.

Anyway I'll get to my point. There's help at hand apparently and it has FDA approval, thanks to some new laser techniques and a study by the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey, on a group of women average aged 47, showed that just one treatment could remove and prevent the return of cellulite for at least a year and some had remained cellulite free for three years. The treatment only takes between one and two hours and a local anaesthetic is sufficient. I won't go into the technical details which involve insertion of laser rods, lumpy fat and dermal tissue and made me feel squeamish.

Now the cost, a very reasonable 'upwards of' £2500. Cough splutter. So I put it to my husband, first asking him if he'd noticed any cellulite on me and second asking if he thought I should do something about it. P is very practical about things, especially money and after asking me how he would recognise cellulite if there was any (I found out later he was joking) he said he'd take a look at the article. He did and advised me that 'upwards of' was open ended, a bit like stores offering sales with 'up to' 75% off, weasel words he called it. Then he added that for a permanent solution it might (only might) stack up but at an annual cost, it just meant keeping some overpaid plastic surgeon in luxury. He also noted that right at the end of the article, an 'honest' plastic surgeon, Fazel Fateh, former President of the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons, said "It is difficult to recommend any treatment with confidence that people will get a good result". So well done Fazel, even though you're doing yourself out of business.......perhaps that's why you're no longer President, too much honesty for your colleagues to vote for.

So the "bottom" line was my husband said he had noticed a bit of cellulite on my bum and the tops of my thighs. Not much at all, he said, and he found it quite attractive. Vulnerable, he said. God knows what he meant by that but because he said nice things I stopped worrying about it immediately. He said he'd take a closer look at it later, just in case he'd missed something. That could only mean one thing:)

Have a good week.


Ronnie
xx

22 comments:

Michael M said...

Saw the article and thought of you.
Also enjoyed the lingerie.
Did you see the Mrs Mills one about Italy?

I have been thinking of writing a question for her. If I do I am sure you will identify it.

Going off the blog for a while until my mojo comes back, whatever that is.
Hope the family thing sorts itself out.
Michael.

Anonymous said...

Ever the pragmatic husband !
I think if I had oodles of money to spare I'd invest in a top notch personal trainer.It's not so much the cellulite that bothers me but my tummy. Having abit of a tan from the last two days makes all the difference, though. Sarah,LD, UK

Roz said...

Ooh, that sounds scary and expensive! I guess as P said, if it's a permanent solution than maybe.

Vulnerable? Good on you for not worrying about it anymore. I'm sure P will be happy to 'monitor' the situation for you :)

Hugs,
Roz

joeyred51 said...

Ronnie,

Very clever. I imagine you will be saving the Times article to remind P how much money he is saving by doing the "inspection" himself.

Hug,
joey

Hermione said...

I would think that regular spankings would dislodge the fat deposits just as well as surgery. Of course it would take more time, but the price is right.

Hugs,
Hermione

Red said...

Hermione's idea is best, regular spankings will keep your bottom toned and happy... a win win at no cost, unless you desire a new implement...
bottoms up
red

Our Bottoms Burn said...

...he'd take a closer look at it later.

P and I are of like minds on this. And it is a reason.

an English Rose said...

Hi Ronnie, when I asked my hubby if I had cellulite on my rear end, he replied that he had beaten it out of me!! damn cheek.lol
have a great bank holiday
love Jan.xx

an English Rose said...

Hi Ronnie, when I asked my hubby if I had cellulite on my rear end, he replied that he had beaten it out of me!! damn cheek.lol
have a great bank holiday
love Jan.xx

ronnie said...

Michael - No, didn't read Mrs Mills. Will take a look. Keep well. Thanks Michael.

Sarah - Hospital duty weekend, didn't have chance to take advantage of the sunny day. Thanks Sarah.

Roz - He already has and will be again:) Thanks Roz.

Joey - Never thought of that:) Cheers Joey.

Hermione - And a lot more fun. Thanks Hermione.

Red - Need to tell P to step up the spankings:) Cheers Red.

OBB - Liked minded indeed:) Thanks OBB.

ER - LOL. Good answer. Thanks ER.

Love,
Ronnie
xx

Ami Starsong said...

All I can think is that if I had that much money to spend on cellulite (for approx a year I think you said) I am certain I could think of much better things to spend it on! Anyway, I am positive the skin on my bottom is much clearer since it was given 'a hand' from time to time!

Hope things are improving a bit for you.

Hugs

Ami

1manview said...

Hmm, let the fun begin. :)

ronnie said...

Ami - I'd never do it and even if we have that much money to waste P would never allow it:) Not there yet I'm afraid. Thanks Ami.

1MV - It did:) Thanks 1MV.

Love,
Ronnie
xx

Anonymous said...

Clearly P got the hint.

MrJ said...

Sorry - that was me.

Christina said...

I heard there was an option of having cellulite naturally disolved and involved the repeated and rapid application of the palm of a hand on the affected area!

Great title... Lol

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Erica said...

(heavy sigh) Another joy that's exclusively for women -- cellulite. I have it too. I think every woman over 16 has it to some degree.

Ah, would it be true that spanking would dislodge it. I'd not only be cellulite free, I'd be at a cellulite deficit.

ronnie said...

MrJ - That he did. Thanks MrJ.

Christine - I've heard that one as well:) Thanks Christine.

Erica - Spanking does help, well that's my opinion:) I was surprised at how many women did have cellulite. I have a friend who is in her 60's and not a lump in sight. Thanks Erica.

Love,
Ronnie
xx

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Blondie said...

That's a sneaky and creative way to let you know what your future holds for you. Wish that spankings could get rid of cellulite. I would be looking so good

ronnie said...

Blondie - Spanking helps a little, that I'm sure off. Thanks Blondie.

Love,
Ronnie
xx