Monday, 22 October 2012

I Lied

I don't like lying, I mean I don't mind little porkies which are told for the greater good and to help keep the wheels of daily life running smoothly, but I don't like big lies that cover up something bad or can hurt someone. I'm not very good at them anyway as you'll see, not that my lie was a big bad one, just a silly one.

It was all over this little item below, which many of you will have seen before and many, I know, will be acquainted with... intimately.

It's the rose paddle from Leatherthorn, we've had it ages and it had been in use (vigorously I might add) on Saturday afternoon. I didn't put it back upstairs because our son was away for a couple of days and P had said he'd have no qualms about using it again later if I didn't get a certain thing done and the prospect of another warming the same day thrilled terrified me.

So what happened to cause me to lie, cleverly I thought but on reflection not so, was that a neighbour from across the road came over later to collect our breadmaker which I'd told her she could borrow and use before deciding to buy one. I went into the kitchen, unplugged it and when I carried it into the lounge she was standing there holding the rosewood, in fact she was tapping it against the palm of her hand as if appreciating its weight. 

"This is nice, what's it for?" She asked me. God, I nearly dropped the breadmaker on the floor as I pretended to struggle with its trailing lead to give me time to think and take her attention away from my red face.

"Oh that, yes, I don't know...we were wondering ourselves....our son brought it home the other day, he said he found it in a hotel he stayed in.

"Hmm, really?" Her eyebrows rose and she smirked. "I expected there to be a mirror on the other side."

"Yes, I thought so too, perhaps it was a reject, maybe a leather goods salesman had stayed at the hotel, I might ask P if he could fit a small mirror to it"

Lies lies lies, and don't they say one lie leads to another.

"Well, if you decide you don't want it, don't throw it in the bin, let me have it. Thanks for the breadmaker, bring it back tomorrow." And off she went.

Phew! I thought as she left, sorted that very deftly Ronnie, putting a mirror on the back of it indeed!

But thinking about it, I wasn't so clever at all because now I'll be worried about her bumping into our son and mentioning it to him just in chatty conversation and he won't know what the hell she's on about so he'll ask me, and that will involve more lies and so on.

Well some good came of it, I got my second bottom warming but not for the reason I'd thought.

Have a good week.



sunnygirl said...

She was pretty cheeky just picking it up. It wasn't hers and she should have left it be. But it gave P a reason to use it again in the same day so it was not all bad.

Michael M said...

Oh what a tangled web we weave
when first we set to deceive.

I am sure there will be another conversation when she returns the breadmaker. Perhaps you could have the cane in the hall when she comes in for a chat? Maybe you could ask if she would like to borrow the paddle?
Perhaps you have a home grown spanking party on your doorstep.

Anonymous said...

Well you could always buy the plastic mirror piece and put it on there, or maybe use tinfoil. Asking if she wants to borrow it was a good suggestion, too.


PK said...

Oh I've done things like that too. Not big lies at all, but embarrassing if mentioned to the wrong person. You feel so silly as an adult. But I also agree with Sonny, she had no business every picking it up. Perhaps P could speak with the husband and have him show her what it's really for.


abby said...

LOL...Not sure what my answer would have been, just be thankful it was just that leather paddle!
hugs abby

Anonymous said...


I am glad that you made good use of it during the day. Thank you for another interesting story, I wonder if she had any idea what it really is for?


Hermione said...

Would did she ask you to give it to her instead of binning it? She must be a closet spanko!

I'm sure she will have forgotten all about it by the next day, unless, of course, she really does want it for her own use.


Bas said...

I do understand that you lied/fantasied in the heat of the moment, but yes, it was much to complicated and too far from the truth.
Let's face it, do you really think an English Lady does not recognize a paddle, when she has her hands on it and is testing the impact on her hands?
Very unlikely.

Our Bottoms Burn said...

I would wager she knows exactly what it is for. I would join her game and tell her you have figured it out while slapping your palm with it. Or if need be,I will come over and slap your palm with it. [grin]

Ana said...

LOL!! Oh Ronnie! Now I wouldn't have picked it up because that is a bit nosy and I can't touch leather, but it is very pretty. I can see how she would expect it to be a mirror.

That reminds me of a story I wrote about hanging a belt on the wall. Certain things you never want visitors to see!!

ronnie said...

SG - Had it been one of the other neighbours I would have thought it a cheek. Thanks SG.

Michael - No can't see her being a spanko. The cane would have been easier to explain. Thanks Michael.

Jean - Oh no couldn't so that to one of John's paddles:) Thanks Jean.

PK - You feel so silly after and gets you deeper. LOL I couldn't see P ever doing that. Thanks PK.

Abby - I would have been happier if it had been the cane, easier to explain:) Thanks Abby.

Joey - P always makes use of that paddle when he brings it out:) I think you would like one of John's paddles. Thanks Joey.

Hermione - She's never a spanko but then again people wouldn't think I was. Who knows. She didn't mention it when she bought thebreadmaker back. Thanks Hermione,

Bas - I know a couple of English ladies who think paddles are only used in boats:) Thanks Bas.

OBB - I'd prefer if it was my bottom:)

Anna - A lovely item and very effective. Do you have along to that story please? Thanks Ana.


Bobbie Jo said...


One thing you can say is that it was so pretty you got it as a wall hanger and hadn't gotten to it yet. Of course, that is a lie, too, unless you actually hang it on the wall. :-)

smuccatelli said...

She knows full well what it is. Whoever heard of a hand mirror being made of tooled leather? And trying it out on her palm? AND asking to have it if you don't want it?
She probably wants to give to her husband (works either way, doesn't it?) for a little present...

ronnie said...

Anna - Sorry, I meant - do you have a link to that story please? I really should read what I've written before posting.


ronnie said...

Bobbie Jo - I thought of that after. It would look rather lovely hung on our bedroom wall. Thanks Bobbie Jo.

Smuccatelli - Hello. You could be right thought it would look rather lovely as a hand mirror:) Thanks Smuccatelli.


MrJ said...

In case she does come back to the subject, tha would confirm my hypothesis: she understand the thing's purpose all too well...

So you may wish to booerang the subject at that stage, so as to restore reciprocity and celebrate that there are more gals who know. :grin:

Lea said...

Quick thinking, Ronnie. If someone found an implement of mine I don't know what I would say.

Malcolm said...

I'm one of those who think she knows what it's for and is just adding it to her collection. Can't you ask her a leading question, such as "Have you made any use of that little leather piece I let you have yet? I'm so intrigued to know what you wanted it for!"

ronnie said...

MrJ - She didn't mention it again next day, thank goodness:) Thanks MrJ.

Lea - It was my neighbour that first mentioned the mirror so I just carried it on:) Thanks Lea.

Malcolm - I wouldn't have the nerve to ask and I won't be mentioning it again. Let's hope she doesn't:) Thanks Malcolm.


Ana said...

Okay darling, just for you I will put up the story for one day. I technically am not supposed to put too much in "public domain" since it's part of the contracted book, but here you go:

Password is "ronnierocks". Yes, you do. :D

Shoot me an email or something once you've read so I can set the post back to private again. Hope you like it!

Anonymous said...

I agree with some of the previous comments. The way she tested it on her palm, the smirk? She knew what it was for and would have loved one for herself. It is lovely, btw. One never knows what goes on behind closed doors. ;)

ronnie said...

Ana - Wonderful, thank you. I'll look forward to it being published.

Often123 - I don't think they are into spanking but as you said - don't know what goes on behind closed doors. Thanks Often.