Champagne, cake and a sore backside

We went to a 50th birthday party on the weekend, P hates going to parties but I wanted to go so he relented and we went.

It was held at a fairly plush hotel. I did suggest to P that maybe we should book a room and stay overnight but was told not to be silly, we only live 30 minutes away and he went on to say he needed to be up early in the morning as he had some jobs to do, I was going to remonstrate with him, even offer to pay (this place gives it best rates on weekends because there's no business trade) but I saw that look on his face that warned me off.

Great night, they had a live band playing and then a disco. First drink of the evening was on them, they had a hot and cold buffet really nice, wine served free with the food, must have cost them a fortune. I think they may have won the lottery or something but of course I didn't ask. After the buffet and just before the disco started again his wife got up on stage and gave a short speech, recalling how they'd been together over 25 years and about some of the ups and downs, the kids, business highs and lows and she wanted to thank him for putting up with her. She went on to say that she had a cake especially made for him and wanted us all to have a piece with a glass of champagne to wish him a Happy Birthday. My favourite, champagne that is, not cake. Well sometimes cake too.

Music was played to crescendo and a waiter pushed in a trolley and you could have knocked me down with a feather there on the trolley was an enormous cake shaped in a bottom with a thong, no lie. I couldn't believe it, it was huge. Then my brain started ticking, wait a minute I wonder if they could be into spanking and I whispered the same to P. I looked around wondering what other people thought of the cake but it seemed everybody thought it was just a laugh. Personally I liked to think they might well be part of our community but it's not something I could ask.

I wanted to go up and take a photo but P said no, people would want to know why you were taking a photo, don't be silly I said, nobody will think anything of it. So off I went but before I could get my nokia out he'd already cut the cake in half. (This picture I found is similar but wasn't in chocolate). So I collected two pieces of cake and returned to P, I got his glass of champagne in exchange for the cake, he's never rated champagne much, I was a bit tiddly by the time the smoochy grindy music time came, P said I should have been spanked for having a glass too many and he had his hand on my backside as he said it, whispering close to my ear as Lionel Ritchie got everyone in the mood for groping and cuddling.

When it was all over and we'd thanked our hosts P surprised me, he'd booked a room, me being me said we can't stay I've got no toothbrush or clean knickers. Not problem, P said, and went out to the car and brought an overnight bag back with him, he hadn't brought me any clothes but he'd thrown some toiletries in, said I could go knickerless in the morning after he'd dealt with me for over imbibing.

So up we went, I was more than ready for some hotel slap and tickle, P made out I'd really overdone the drinking, which wasn't at all true but I didn't argue, and started spanking me on the bed, we were both conscious of the noise but he was increasing his pace anyway when suddenly an alarm siren sounded, it was the fire alarm. It went for about twenty seconds and then stopped, but we'd already got up off the bed and started getting dressed, we assembled outside the front of the hotel with other guests, very chold, and the night manager finally came and told us it was alright and he was sorry, there had been a small fire in the kitchen but it was in an annexe building and we could all go back inside. A fire engine turned up as we were filing in, I'm not sure hotel's fire drills are quite up to the mark, I thought it should be down to the fire crew to give the all clear and wave the guests back in.

My spanking didn't resume, we got back to our room and went to bed, to sleep, I could hear the couple in the next room still talking as I drifted off, maybe it had been an excitement for them but it had been a frustration for me. Never mind, true to his word early next morning and under cover of Sky's breakfast news playing a bit louder than necessary and an empty cold shower running, P did spank me and it was a sound one too and I loved it and when he stopped I wiggled my backside for more. He said 'I don't know, don't you ever get enough, I don't know what to do with you next' but he did, I made sure of it, and it was delightful and hot and exhausting and I loved it.

After showering he took me down to breakfast, sans knickers, and made me sit, and I squirmed about in my seat a bit self consciously because I always feel everybody knows after I've been spanked, and because my bum was roasting, and we chatted and sipped tea. Neither of us was hungry after eating late, it just felt nice being there, several other guests were breakfasting, I bet I was the only one without knickers and a sore backside.

Ronnie

xx

Why OTK?

I had a lovely very quick OTK last night as son popped to get a takeaway (for himself, he didn't want to eat with us :)). As P says, windows of opportunity should never be missed, he only says that when he has the time and inclination actually but he still says it, anyway I wasn't complaining, not at the start at least.

At the end I was complaining appropriately and was told not to make a fuss it had been overdue and I'd get some more if I whinged on. I was about to up the whingeing when we both heard son's car on the drive, god it must have grown wings it was far too fast a journey, I'm going to recommend a takeaway in town next time, that takes at least 40 mins round trip.

After I got over not getting my full share I was thinking (strange I've actually never thought about it before) why the expression OTK (over the knee) is most often often used to describe the most common position in which to administer a spanking - when actually it would be physically impossible or at least very difficult to bend over a person's knees, I mean they're joints, they're bony and they wouldn't be at all comfortable. Bent over lap (BOL) or across the thighs (ATT) would be more accurate descriptions for this popular position wouldn't they, and I'm sure there are plenty of others. I'm not knocking OTK, I love it - the expression, the spoken words and the event - but I just wondered how it ever got off the ground.

Has anyone else ever thought the same or maybe even know how the word OTK came to be used.

Ronnie

xx

Pay Back

Right Mark, I told you your going to pay for your late night out with the lads.

The Unbelievable Truth and more

Thanks to all who stopped by and guessed which of the five facts in my Unbelievable Meme were true.

I obviously made it far too easy for you

Yes, no4 was the correct one. We had to make sure our GS was out of the way whenever P was spanking me because she always wanted to join in.

Hermione also thought parts of no1 was correct and she was right. We did have to wear regulation knickers and we did have spot check to see if we were wearing them but no canings.

Thinking about our GS reminded me of one Friday night, a completely true story, when P was at our other restaurant and we'd had a late disco. Our door staff were very good and if I was on my own they would make sure they checked the whole premise to make sure nobody was still left in. It was around 3.00am and staff had just left (we always sat down with staff at the end of the night, sometimes just for a few minutes chat to wind down, usually a bit longer and they'd have a drink) and was just walking through the restaurant to set the alarms after locking them out when our GS stopped, her ears pricked and and she started to growl, then next minute she was off around the bar leading to the large entertainment room barking full force, hackles up. Oh shit there was somebody in.

I flicked the master switch which floodlit the room and slowly ventured into the room; there was this guy staggering from the direction of the loos, didn't know where he was. Lucky for him, the bar hatch was closed and our GS couldn't get out but boy did she want to. She knew he shouldn't be there and she wanted to let him know that. I told her to be quiet which she did but you could hear the low growl deep in her throat. The guy came closer which started her off again, I told him to stop because I was sure she was about ready to jump the bar, but he kept coming, didn't know what he was doing, he was so far gone I didn't even feel threatened, it was just a nuisance at that time in the morning and I wanted him out.

I quickly dragged GS into the other bar and locked the door and went through the hatch into the entertainment suite. The guy could hardly stand, I went up closer, not quite sure how I was going to manipulate a 13st very unsteady man out of the building, then when I got right up close enough to smell the beer and cigarettes on him I recognised him as the younger son of our own greengrocer who only lived in the next village. I called his dad and told him about his son, he came and picked him, couldn't apologise enough, he was a nice man, nice family actually, every body's entitled to a bad night every now and again. I'm glad he came out of the loo before I'd set the alarms and had gone to bed because that would have really unnerved me if the alarms had gone off after I'd snuggled down for what was left of the night. Mind you the police would have come, we were on a Red Line callout system and they were usually quick to attend licensed premises because it usually got them a drink.

The next day the lad came round with a bunch of flowers to say sorry if he'd scared me and asked if he'd been abusive or anything, which he wasn't, he was really embarrassed, I think his dad had already laid the law down. When P got back later in the day and heard what had happened he was angry and really gave the doormen a piece of his mind for missing the guy.

Ronnie

xx

An Unbelievable Meme

Prefectdt recently posted an interesting meme. I also spotted it over at Hermione's Heart and at My Bottom Smarts. I thought it would be fun to have a go.

Below are 5 facts, only one of them is genuine the other four are untrue. What you have to do is decided which one is the true fact.

1. I went to an all girls school and we had to wear regulation green knickers, the teachers used to make us line up and do spot checks to make sure we were wearing them and if we weren't, we would be sent to the headmistresses office where she would make us bend over the desk with our skirts up and give us 2 strokes of the cane for first offence, 4 for second, 6 for third. I can assure you not many girls got higher than 2 and it only happened to me once.

2. After dinner at a friends house we played strip poker and the loser got spanked. It wasn't me.

3. I had just started going out with P when he invited me to go with him to a friend's wedding. After the meal and speeches the bride and groom took to the floor for what I imagined would be for the first dance, well it was, but before dancing the groom took his new bride over his bended knee and gave her a couple of swats. Apparently this was a family tradition on the groom's side.

4. I was dressed in top hat and tails for an occasion evening at an entertainment venue we owned and at the end of the evening we were locking up, I went in and checked the ladies loo and P followed me in and jokingly started spanking but didn't get very far because our trusty German Shepherd thought it looked like a great game and jumped on us.

5. A long time ago my friend decided to have a tattoo and persuade me to have one as well so I had a small heart put on the right cheek of my bottom.

Ronnie

xx

Toll Payment

Goodness me what country is this, anybody know from the language? Would it be Turkey or somewhere Arabic in that direction?

They seem to be switched-on with the e-passes, smart passes etc and it looks like someone in their traffic planning department has thought of another method of payment.

Ronnie

xx

Office Slut

Can somebody tell me why is it when you're underspanked and then you get that long overdue one, it hurts so much, or is that too obvious, is it just that your backside gets out of condition, like sports people have to get back into form after the closed season, runners (I can vouch for this) feel the strain if they skip a week or two and then try to go right back into it. I wonder, I mean the butt's a muscle, right? Anyway it's probably more complex than that because emotions are involved too, but doesn't absence make the heart grow fonder and therefore shouldn't it be that much sweeter when a drought comes to a close?

So I don't have an answer but I've got something off my mind, I'm sure others feel the same. And now you'll be worrying that I've either been underspanked or overspanked as a result being underspanked, so I'll put things into perspective.

P is pretty perceptive where my needs are concerned, he receives signals, little things, he usually knows but not always (and I'm not being critical), he's been so busy with helping me with this new website, our vanilla blog which I can't name but we've just got some lovely content with a TV personality on board and I'm excited about, our recruitment business which I personally wish would either die or hit the sky one or the other but not meandering in between, and with son back there hasn't been much opportunity. The odd little slap on the bottom here and there when he's passed by but that's about all.

You all know me and sometimes I decide to take matters into my own hands when I need a spanking so Friday afternoon that's just what I did, I thought it might be therapeutic for P too.

I was upstairs in our little satellite (I like that way of describing it) office working and decided to send a text to P who was in the downstairs office. This is how the exchange went:-

"what would you do to a naughty girl who had no knickers on"

"depends who where and why"

''she's at work, in a public place, she's had no knickers on all day''

''why''

''so she could play''

''with herself?''

Slight delay.

''yes''

''do I know her?''

''yes, she's up here''

''hm. I'd probably cane her''

Gulp that wasn't exactly the answer I was wanting but sort of on the right track. I got the impression P thought it might shut me up but it didn't.

''you wouldn't dare in the office''

Delay.

''stay up there''

Five minutes later P strode into our little satellite office, it's smaller, cosier than downstairs, he turned the snip on the inside of the door after he'd closed it, he had a 45cm 18'' ruler in hand and a measuring tape, the measuring tape was cover (people know we take dimensions from our products for sale) but the ruler was for me. I shuddered with delight. He didn't say anything just walked over to me, turned me towards the window next to the only desk we have in there, put his hand on my trousered bum, slid it down over my cheek then round to the front searching for a panty line, realised there wasn't one.

''I see, behaving quite like the office slut, we'll see about that,'' he said as he undid the waistband clasp on my trousers and bent me forward over the desk.

''You can't, it'll be too loud,'' I protested falsely.

''There's no light on next door and they won't hear from across the corridor.''

It was true, the office to our right had closed early and there's a lift shaft to our left. I whimpered as he dragged my trousers down. Wasting no time on preliminaries, you know the usual lecturing, P steadied me in place with his left hand in the small of my back and applied the ruler to my bare backside causing me to catch my breath with the suddenness and ferocity, ooh my I hadn't been prepared for it, I took my 'rulering' stoically, it did make a noise, more than a cane would make because of the flat surface, but not as much as I'd wanted to make. I had to hold back, noise-wise at least, but I know I was wriggling for all I was worth by the time the spanking ceased because it hurt like hell. It must have had an effect on P because I'm sure he only came up to indulge me but I could see as I turned to get up that he was aroused, he told me to stay where I was and came up and pressed himself against my punished bum, and told me he hoped I'd learned my lesson for going knickerless at the same time as snaking his hand around my hips and down between my legs where my own arousement was evident. In less than two minutes I was suppressing an altogether different noise, or maybe not so different even if the cause was.

When my breathing steadied P stepped back and told me to pull my trousers up, make myself respectable and mind when I came back down to our main office, Clare was still working, and he was away back downstairs. I'd wanted so much to thank him for such a pleasant interlude at the end of the afternoon but he still had stuff to finish and the girl who was helping him needed direction.

Later that night our son went out, we had a movie and a bottle of wine in and, before the movie started, I nuzzled my way into P's lap and thanked him profusely for finding time to deal with his shameless knickerless wife. God I was feeling horny again, the movie was the Clint Eastwood film Gran Torino, P pressed play to let it run through the trailers while he reached for a tissue, I stayed his hand and cleaned him up with my tongue. Gosh I think I really am a slut sometimes, not changing though.

Ronnie

xx

Here's a tricky one, Google

P was out with with a client last night so just me and son in for dinner. Just as were were finishing our meal he asked if I had read an article regarding Google interviews in the SundayTimes. (He's just graduated and looking for work, so interviews on his mind). I must admit I hadn't, he went on to tell me that the article was about possible questions that job applicants are expected to solve at interviews off the tops of their heads. He said he'd kept the article, went to fetch it and read a little from it. Apparently Google get 3,000 job applications a day and only 50 UK vacancies were being advertised last week and how times have changed.

It's not at all like the old days any more, even if you don't remember them you'd have seen the old ways spoofed in movies, old school tie, Oxford or Cambridge, Harvard wasn't it, etc...

Interviewer: “Didn’t your father used to work here?”

Interviewee: “Yes, he sends his best wishes.”

Interviewer: “Do you still play rugby, by the way?”

Interviewee: “Yes.”

Interviewer: “Jolly good. When can you start?”

Anyway it's definitely not like that now, not at Google anyway. He said have a go at these questions which I did.

1. Every man in a village of 100 married couples has cheated on his wife. Every wife in the village instantly knows when a man other than her husband has cheated, but does not know when her own husband has. The village has a law that does not allow for adultery. Any wife who can prove that her husband is unfaithful must kill him that very day. The women of the village would never disobey this law. One day, the queen of the village visits and announces that at least one husband has been unfaithful. What happens?

2. How many times a day does a clock’s hands overlap?

3. You have eight balls all of the same size. Seven of them weigh the same. One of them weighs slightly more. How can you find the heavier ball by using a balance and only two weighing?

4. A man pushed his car to the hotel and lost his fortune. What happened?

I can hear you say, how did I do, very bad actually, only got one right. There can't be answers to some of these and others require lateral thinking. I read the article later and I'm very glad I'm not having to go through interviews these days especially with questions like these.

Why not have a go at the questions, leave me the answers in comments but no Googling.

Ronnie

xx

Smiling through

No I didn't snap this at my local Tesco but it did make me wonder, just for a brief moment, how many girls (or boys) out of all the shoppers might have a happy bum, but that raised the question what would constitute a happy bum, in my own case it would definitely be spanked one, I guess in some it might be the opposite and in others they'd just be neutral bums.

This girl's happiness is self evident. Nice to see a happy bottom whatever the reason.

Click to see larger picture.

Ronnie

xx

Knicker Fetish

I was reading our local freebie paper on Friday evening, it's mostly advertising but they carry a few articles of local interest and one thing in particular caught my eye, a small headline about theft from washing lines. So what, I hear you say, but it brought a smile to my face and vivid memories of an incident which happened ages ago and very close to home. Before I drafted it I asked P to read it and if there was anything I'd missed out, P said there was one point where he'd thought punches might get thrown but it didn't happen.

Anyway, years ago we owned a busy pub/restaurant/nightclub on a main road with villages close by, a large town a few miles away. We had an excellent young commis chef who wanted to go abroad for 6 months so we advertised for a new one, good initial response but only 2 actually came to interview, probably the wages which were and are still low in that profession, even though we provided food and lodging. P and the chef made their choice, wrong one in my opinion, bit of a loner, and we started him on a month trial, he was about 19 years old and moved into the staff quarters, were our head chef and assistant manager were also living.

Everything was kind of OK with the lad, our head chef said he was a bit slow and had to tell him things 2-3 times but it did finally click and hey he was young and still training so we said bear with him to see if he picks up.

Around the end of his 3rd week, summer just starting, nice warm days, when one afternoon I was walking back from taking our German Shepherd out for her afternoon run when I thought I saw our young chef in the back yard which we used for barbecues sometimes I put washing out there, the live-in staff used it too but always asked first. I thought no more about it. I took my washing in and put it in a pile ready for ironing. I was missing a couple of pairs of knickers when I got round to ironing and went back into the yard to see if I'd dropped them but they weren't there, so I must have made a mistake.

The incident was forgotten until few days later when the boy was on his 2 days leave and had travelled back home, our cleaners, who gave the staff quarters a spruce up once a week, went into his room to hoover as it was unlocked. Our dog was following them round in and out the rooms and when she came back to me in the restaurant, which was closed, she had a pile of girl's knickers in her jaws. I took them off her, a pair of mine was amongst them, but there were half a dozen foreign pairs too all covered in dog slobber.

Now we had no live-in girl staff so either the chef or assistant was having a good time and keeping trophies (mine excepted) or there was something odd going on. I went upstairs, the cleaners had finished, our dog nosed her way into the commis chef's room and made straight for his wardrobe, stood there tail wagging. I wasn't going to open the door so I called P, told him what had happened, he opened the door no hesitation and a pile of knickers fell out onto the floor, the dog grabbing another mouthful. I found my second missing pair too. So our young chef apparently had a knicker fetish, he must have been taking them from clothes lines because they weren't new and there was no way he'd collected trophies, he didn't even have a girlfriend at all.

So how to sort that one out? These days with HR written warnings etc it would have been a nightmare, but P just took him aside when he returned after his break, sat him down and asked him how come he'd got his wife's knickers in his wardrobe, together with about three dozen other assorted pairs. The boy just broke down, cried, admitted he'd been taking them from the washing lines in the village. God if ever the locals had found out they'd have killed him. P told him he'd have to leave, either that or he'd involve the police. The boy's parents came up on the night to speak with P and argue on behalf of their son, saying it was just a prank and everyone needed a break but P wouldn't consider it. I remember it actually getting quite heated and the boy's dad was up off his seat gesticulating and mouthing loudly, apparently they were unable to believe their son was a bit weird, P said well let's go and call him in then, right now, and hear what he's got to say directly about it but the parents didn't want to do that.

Eventually they left and took their son with them. Next day his elder brother was sent to fetch his belongings from his room, minus the knickers of course. We tied all the knickers into a black plastic bin liner and threw them into the bulk waste bin, I let my own two pairs go with them, didn't fancy wearing them after that.

We laugh about it now but it wasn't funny at the time.

Ronnie

xx

Graduation

Just a quick update as were travelling around today and I'm trying mobile blogging so I hope it works, I know I can schedule posts but never like doing that so here goes while P's in the local Planning dept office and I'm sitting in the car because we're off to a meeting directly after he finishes. I hope the picture appears too, I'm not certain how it will position itself coming from my phone as an attachment. Whoo techno me!

Yesterday our son Graduated, it was lovely and a very proud day for us, he looked so handsome and grown up in his cap and gown. No I didn't cry, P said he was surprised but certainly brought a lump to my throat. Graduation Ceremony was held in the Cathedral which dated back to the 15th century. Shame we couldn't take photo in there, I would have liked to share, the inside was wonderful.

One thing did peeve me though and to me was totally unacceptable and rude. Once the earlier students received their certifcates some of the parents got up and left, must have been about 20 or more doing that. I wanted to get up and stop them at the door and tell them off, really disrespectful. I know a lot of other parents thought the same. P said maybe they had a long journey back but you know what, when it had finished we went into town for lunch I definitely spotted at least 2 sets of the rude parents wandering throught the old streets and then another set where we ate. I didn't say anything, it was over, but god how selfish and thoughtless can some people be.

Ronnie

xx

Kinky sex tips with your handbag, Madam?

'Fingers together, the palm arched and cupped; alternatively, a ruler is a great accessory. Your man as the dominant (unless you're doing the spanking) should be asking questions like: 'Do you like that?' 'Harder, do you want it harder?' The correct answer here is 'Ooh, yes, yes.' Get him to pull your hair a little, and tell you that, 'You love it.' Enjoy being a naughty girl'

'The thing that really gets you horny may be being taken across a knee and spanked till you're tickled pink!'

'Double plugging is particularly pleasurable (penetration of both vagina and anus) and triggers INTENSE orgasms!'

Got your attention? Good, it got mine too, and where did I come across these snippets (there are plenty more by the way and pictures too) of advice? No I wasn't trawling the web's adult content pages, I was researching my handbags business, I was on www.handbags.com looking for a few tips and I certainly found some, well laid out too and tasteful. Their spice up your sex life advice for couples covers a whole range of wickedness including anal sex, mutual masturbation, getting spanked by him, getting spanked by her, role play etc.

If you're going to take a look at their site here's a few links will take you to the appropriate sections faster, then you can browse.

Taking control
Dildo

Mutual Masturbation

Anal

So who said purses and handbags were boring. And isn't that the same ruler I have? It is! I couldn't mistake it, its warmed my backside too many times so I can vouch for it.

Just pure naughty. Lovely.

Ronnie

xx